Hi! Kenneth and E. Jean here. We're absolutely thrilled you're helping us get Tawkify started! You are the Tawkify demi-gods! The First! The Cool Ones! The Elite!

We have four brilliant ways to introduce you to a great catch:

The Waiting List Tawkify has somehow become the darling of a prestigious group of A-list people. They in turn keep inviting their friends, and sometimes we get too many people in one age group, one occupation, or who live in a certain area. So when you sign up—WARNING! You may have to wait for your first match.

So Listen: You answer ten questions, we personally match you, and you meet your match on the phone, or on a Walkify, or on a Mystery Date. This means that we—living, breathing, laughing, mistake-making human beings—actually READ your answers—and study your photos—so write something riveting. Enthralling. We will try our best to match you with someone spectacular—i.e. someone with the same wit, warmth, charisma and interests as yourself.

The Match

Mr. Brooks our handsome robot will call you the instant we find your match. Mr. Brooks will instruct you when to be ready to take the call/meet on a Walkify or the Mystery Date. (You and your match must agree which method of meeting is best.) Victoria, Charlee, Jenny, Ryan, Jan, Kenneth and E. Jean work around the clock studying and talking with attractive people with whom to match you.

Sometimes there's just NO ONE to suit your requirements—or if several people do meet your requirements, they live too far away, are on an extended business trip in Europe, are too young, too old etc, etc. In this case, we wait and watch for new people to appear. It is our sacred and respectful task.

The Tawkify Call

The call lasts ten minutes. It zooooooms by! Your phone will ring, Mr. Brooks will be on the line and say: If you wish to speak with so-and-so, press 1. Then if you both press 1, you're connected. No one sees your number.

Now, here's the deal: Don't be dull. Don't be tedious. You have an exciting person on the phone! So don't ask the dating profile questions. Don't do the job résumé. A man asking a woman: "How old are you?" is as off-putting as a woman asking a man to see his 2011 Tax Returns.

You don't know what the person looks like. E. Jean or Kenneth (or Charlee or Victoria) may call you/text you and give you a couple of delicious tidbits about the person you'll be talking with, but Guys! You won't know if the woman you're speaking with is stacked. Ladies—you won't know if the guy on the other end is a 6'3" Silicon Alley upstart or a 5'4" millionaire. You each must simply go with the mystery.

Weirdly, it almost doesn't matter what you say. It's how you react to what the other person is saying. The timber of your voice, your laugh, your good will, the way you respond with warmth or coldness—these are what make a conversation exciting and romantic. If you hit it off—if you feel that shiver, that indescribable something, login to Tawkify and click "Call Again."

If the person you were matched with also logins and clicks "call again," you will talk with the same person again the following week. This time when you "tawk," exchange numbers.

We've found that when people discover they have the same interests and communication styles, they fall for each other like felled timbers.

So just to repeat: If you want the person we match you with to have your number, you must reveal it to the person while you are on the phone. Kenneth and E. Jean will never, never, never reveal it without your permission.

If you don't pick up your phone when Mr. Brooks calls with your match—if you miss the call—we will try to immediately re-tawkify you. If you still don't pick up your phone, we will reschedule the match. Or put you in Tawkify Jail.

If you missed the call, login to Tawkify and click "Missed Call."

If you do not wildly adore the person you spoke with, login to Tawkify.com and click "New Match." Kenneth and E. Jean will then look for a new match for you for the next Monday night. If you are undecided? What the heck? Click "Call Again!" What have you got to lose?

Sometimes E. Jean and Kenneth can't find a person who matches your specifications. If you ask for a 5'11 investment banker who is half Armenian, wears a mustache and owns a beagle, you may have to wait a few weeks till E. Jean calls you and says: "Girl, you gotta open your mind to the kinghell possibilities."

Is Falling in Love My Major Errand in Life? Yes.

Can You Fall In Love on the Phone? Well... why not? Life is twice as delicious when you're living for that phone call. Right? Tawkify is bringing back that crazy feeling.

Can I Fall In Lust on a Walkify? Please. Have you ever watched a woman's hips sway as she walks?

Wait... How Does It Work Again? You register with your name, phone number and email. (Your phone will ring a couple of times as you are registering—it's Mr. Brooks our handsome robot. For Godssakes pick it up! He gives you the 3-digit code to enter the site!)

You answer ten questions—Age, State, Sex, etc. You upload your enthralling picture. You tell us your interests, what you do for a living, and what you want in a match. And Kenneth and E. Jean (and Charlee, Victoria, Jenny and Ryan) will personally select for you someone fantastically delicious.

Do I Get To See the Person You Pick for Me? No. Only Kenneth and E. Jean (or Charlee, Victoria, Jenny and Ryan) know what the person looks like. It adds to the mystery and adventure of the call—or the Walkify or Mystery Date.

How Much Does the Person Know About Me Beforehand? Nothing. You must tell them! This is the juiciest part—discovering one another. We may call your match and give him/her a couple of interesting details about you ("She looks like Mara Rooney but blonde" or "She's a partner in the design studio which created the ads for Mad Men") so there's a start for the conversation. But it's really up to the two of you to prize out the most delectable morsels of information.

So You Guys Curate Romance? Yes, we get rid of the poppycock—also the halfwits, creeps, and dingbats—and set you up on the phone.

I'm An Extremely Cool Person. What If You Match Me With a Chump? Sometimes it happens that you are so spectacular, we hold off matching you till we find someone worthy of your brilliance. Once E. Jean matched a high-powered woman with an actor and E. Jean's still not heard the end of it: "Do you know who I am?!!" the lady shrieked. "I represent Beyoncé!! I represent Diddy!! And you set me up with an actor from New Jersey??!!! And the actor? One of the most tender-hearted men E. Jean knows.

When the Call Happens, How Long Does It Last? Ten minutes. And—WATCH OUT! You feel the rush, the wildness—Zooooooom! It's like a bungee jump. You barely get to know one another—but you know enough to know if you like one another.

When the Walkify Happens, How Long Does It Last? Twenty minutes—through the park, or around the block, or across the George Washington Bridge... some place spectacular! We've discovered that people think faster and look more appealing when they are walking.

How about the Mystery Date? This is our favorite. If you want to add a little danger to your dating life, a Mystery Date is the way to go. It lasts an hour. After you both arrive at a designated spot, Jenny the Match Girl gives you instructions on where to go next---and what to do. It's like a James Bond movie. Jenny is particularly high-larious at setting up Scav's (posh scavenger hunts straight out of My Man Godfrey.) One of the recent Mystery Dates Jenny set up was so successful, the people sent her a picture they took of themselves in a photo booth, totally kissing.

Three nights later they had their first sleepover.

On the Tawkify Calls... Is There a Warning That the Call Is About to End?This is not a football game. There's no warning. It puts a sexy high-school thrill back into conversations.

The call abruptly ends when the clock hits ten minutes. So if you want to keep talking, it's best to exchange numbers around the eight-minute mark.

When Do the Calls Take Place? Any time, but about 60% of them happen on Monday nights.

What If I Want to Speak to My Match Again? Login to Tawkify.com and click "Call Again." If the person you spoke to also clicks "Call Again," then it's pie! You'll receive a call from Mr. Brooks next week announcing you will talk (at the same time) to the same match.

But What If I'm Going Out of My Head and MUST Speak With the Person IMMEDIATELY? Send E. Jean an email and she will arrange it if the other person agrees. ejean@tawkify.com. E. Jean's been there. She knows what you're going through.

Do You Have Any Tips for Holding a Good Conversation? Why, yes, we do! Talk about what you can't help talking about! Talk about your obsessions—and you will be at your most engaging. Are you obsessed with the Lakers? Talk about the Lakers. Don't turn this thrilling, spirited, mysterious ten minutes into a dim-witted résumé. You are NOT interviewing one another for a job. So....please... no dumb-cluck dating histories, no dim-witted dating site quizzes (no questions about age, smoking, pets, religion, height, weight, income, etc.) and refrain from asking to "exchange photos." You are on the phone to get to know the person.

See the side bar called "I7 Ways To Be Awesome On the Phone." Victoria and Charlee—Tawkify's Charming Go-Betweens—also give you their brilliant tips. But our best advice is: GO WITH THE MYSTERY!!

What If I Don't Like the Person You Matched Me With? After the conversation, or the Walkify or Mystery Date login to Tawkify and click "New Match." If you've bought another match, E. Jean and Kenneth (and Victoria, Charlee, Jenny and Ryan) will set you up with someone new.

What If I Was In the Shower and Missed the Call? Well, well, well. You're extremely naughty, aren't you? You must buy another match if you want E. Jean and Kenneth to go through the heinous torments of finding just the right person for you—again.

What If the Phone Rings With My Match And NO ONE Is On the Other Line? Alas! This is terrible. Horrible! You wait all day, your heart is beating a thousand thuds a minute, your phone rings, Mr. Brooks says your call is about to happen, you press "One"—and zip. Nothing.

This usually means the other person couldn't reach the phone, or their phone was turned off, or it was going directly to voice mail—it could be a hundred things. You'll receive a free match in this case.

Delighted! Registration takes less than five minutes. Shall we begin?

1. On the Tawkify home page, fill in your name, phone number, email, and click "match me."

2. A new page will open. This is the beautiful "Welcome to Tawkify" page.

3. Your phone will ring.

4. Answer it.

5. It is Mr. Brooks.

6. He will give you a 3-digit code.

7. Enter it in the box and click "enter 3-digit code."

8. You are now on the question page. Answer the questions and upload your photo (sometimes, if Mr. Brooks is moody, you have to click "upload" twice).

NOTE: We actually read your answers, so write something riveting. We want to match you with someone with the same warmth and charisma as yourself!

9. When you're done answering the questions, click "match me."

10. You will be taken to the awesome payment page. You can use your PayPal account or your credit card. And Boom!

11. You land on the invite page. Pick someone cute for heaven's sake! Better yet, pick a woman and a man. Let's keep a balance in the battle of the sexes here! Enter their names and phone numbers. Kenneth and E. Jean will never, never, never give, sell, or in anyway misuse the numbers. Mr. Brooks simply calls each number and invites the person to come to Tawkify. He phones them only once. (So only click "invite" once.) If you wish to be matched to the person you invite, check the box. If you wish to be matched to the person you invite and remain anonymous, then click that box.

And that's about it. Final words? GO WITH THE MYSTERY.

And final, final words? Yes. It's possible to fall for a person in ten minutes.