Recently, Huffington Post published, “20 Secrets of Happily Married Couples.” We liked the oft-shared pearls of wisdom from all sorts of people in committed relationships:
- Never go to bed angry (of course, we’ve got mixed-research on this one.)
- Learn each other’s argument style
- Don’t be afraid to speak your mind
- Never lose your sense of humor (assuming you had one in the first place)
- Stay true to your core values
- Friendship, first, last and always
- Unplug to reconnect
All of these points got us to thinking about something. Before someone can have a healthy marriage, they first need to have a healthy dating relationship.
Of course, healthy anything seems like a worthy goal. But when you’re talking about dating specifically, what does that mean exactly? If you look up the definitions for “healthy,” you’ll find “being sound,” “functioning well” and “prosperous,” for example. Some synonyms for healthy include “nourishing,” “whole” and “strong.”
If you took a moment to examine your past relationships for insight into why they didn’t work, perhaps you’d find yourself going to things like “She/he cheated” or “I always seem to attract the wrong kind of person.” But what if the more truthful, worthwhile answer was a lack of healthy—strong, whole, well-functioning—relationships in the first place? Because, in healthy relationships, people generally don’t cheat and lie, or “reveal” themselves to be someone other than who we were pretty sure they were. And never, do they take us for granted — or worse — abuse us.
If we’re choosing the “same” unhealthy person over and over again, it’s a pretty clear sign we are not choosing healthy relationships, right?
What — to you — are the characteristics of a healthy relationship?
What does one “need” in order to know they are in one?
We look forward to your thoughts. In the meantime, “to your health!”
Art by Eugenia Loli
Re-imaged by Tawkify