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9 First Date Conversation Starters

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The first date historically has a make it or break it quality. The pressure applied to date one is enough to make daters avoid finding a partner altogether. Individuals cannot allow the fear of rejection to dissuade them from the dating world. The key is preparation, just like people prepare for job interviews and exams. Nine first date conversation starters are here to help singles feel more comfortable and avoid those awkward prolonged silences on date one.

1. Culture

The culture question is a great place to start on a first date, especially if it links to where the couple first met, like a bookstore or a concert. Questions around culture apply to art, books, media, and food. Avoid asking general or yes or no questions. Instead, offer specific questions – about a tv show they are currently watching or a recent concert they might have attended. Even if it is not a shared experience, display curiosity and get an immediate sense of your date’s interests.

2. Childhood experiences

It is always interesting to know how this person was as a child. Listening to what they remember from their childhood is eye-opening, and it also gives one a peek at their date’s thoughts on their family.

Learning about each others’ backgrounds, siblings (if any), and roots gives daters a chance to see one another’s personalities with more context and understanding. Plus, it is a chance to swap silly childhood tales.

3. What is something most would not guess about this person?

This question sets one apart from those who ask the expected “tell me about yourself” question. This topic allows the couple to learn things that most would not know about them. Sharing secrets or small quirks about each other effectively fosters a more profound sense of intimacy in couples. 

This question is an excellent icebreaker on a first date because each person still has the freedom to choose what they share.

4. Where did this individual grow up? How did it make them who they are today?

On a first date, questions concerning where each person has grown up are likely to get an individual to open up about certain foundational touchstones. 

This conversation can lead naturally to a discussion about where each person would see themselves living in the future. Couples often debate cities, suburbs, and moves, and each person’s answer reveals a lot.

5. What’s their ideal vacation?

Learn what is most appealing to an individual – a relaxing, all-expenses-paid resort or a trip filled with long hikes and exploration? 

Also, if an individual has no desire to travel, it might mean there are competing priorities and responsibilities that do not allow travel in their schedule. Compatible travel hunger can stoke future excitement.

6. What is this person most grateful for in life?

Couples can understand what each person is most passionate about with this question. This question is a good gauge to determine whether the couple’s passions are compatible. 

Determine whether this person holds aligned values – individuals are often most grateful for relationships, jobs or health. Competing values can signal possible challenges in the relationship.

Allow this person to feel heard and appreciated when they share their gratitude. With nonjudgmental openness, the conversation can take on more depth, with more dialogue on philosophical values.

7. What does this person wish they were better at?

What skills does one want to acquire or strengthen? Whether it relates to a particular job or to life in general, this question reveals a person’s ambition. It also demonstrates a person’s humility and capacity to be open about their own personal life development.

This conversation could be specific about what each person wishes to be better at in romantic relationships or friendships. Whether it is being more on time or communicating better, this conversation starter gives one a heads-up on areas of mutual improvement.

8. What is this person most afraid of?

This question might elicit a playful or a serious response. Some might say their fears stem from childhood experiences like spiders or clowns. In contrast, others might consider this an opportunity to be a bit more vulnerable. 

The key here is that both responses are taken generously, and one should be prepared to be vulnerable too. Laughter is also welcome.

9. Is this person a morning lover or a night owl?

An individual’s morning routine or sleep timeline preference may reveal more of their character and personality type. Whether someone prefers mornings over late nights should not be a dealbreaker. Although, it does reveal the types of activities this person is likely to engage in, and a bit more on overall lifestyle compatibility.

Relationship-Ready Rehash

First dates can be nerve-wracking, but they don’t have to be. With the right conversation starters, relationship seekers can help ease the tension and support first date success. Ready for an enjoyable and unique dating experience? Request a call from Tawkify and take all the guesswork out of finding love.

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