Friends Without Benefit

Toxic friends. Whether we want to admit it or not, all of us have had at least one. We have covered unhealthy romantic relationships before (read: Are Your Love Blinders On, Does Healthy Dating lead to Healthy Unions, or Thrive or Dive – Relationship “Do’s” and Oh, please “Don’ts”) but what about unhealthy platonic relationships? What are some of the indicators of an unhealthy friendship? LifeHack recently published a thorough list of indicators, found in the checklist below. 

1. They always seem to be focusing on the negative side of things

2. They never listen to any of your problems

3. They are quick to point out your flaws

4. They get mad at you easily

5. They aren’t happy for your success

6.  They always want to talk about themselves

7. They don’t care enough to keep in touch

Tawkify side note: A toxic friendship can also be characterized by obsessive tendencies in which one participant requires near constant attention. We all love a solid BFF, but when your BFF expects to own all of your free time and reacts in anger when they don’t get– then bingo: you’ve got yourself a toxic friendship.

8. They never consider your feelings

9. They pressure you to do things you don’t want to do

10. They aren’t willing to change
Gee, when you look at the list like that, it can make you wonder how you ever ended up with that type of person in your personal space. But here’s the deal: rarely do toxic friends reveal all of these characteristics all at one time. Usually they are spaced out. You might tell them some good news and they barely acknowledge what you said (non-supportive). You might call to tell them a story and all they do is talk about themselves (self-absorbed). Or you find yourself in a relationship that makes you really happy and they continue to nitpick at it (manipulative). (Maria Admira, Lifehack)

Just like in romantic relationships, we often overlook and power-through blaring signs of toxicity in friendships. We do this for many of the same reasons- dedication to commitment, fear of loss, fear of loneliness, avoidance of conflict. All of these reasons are NOT REASON ENOUGH. 

Do not allow a friendship to invade and disrupt your other relationships- romantic or otherwise. Evaluate the friendships in your life and have the courage to trim away the toxicity. You will feel lighter and brighter, but most of all you will feel respected (by yourself)! It all starts there, within you.

Love, 

Team Tawkify

PS. As always, we’re interested to know how all this strikes you. Weigh in on the comment thread below.