The Holiday Hold-On: Why People Delay Breakups Until After the Holidays
The holidays have a way of magnifying whatever we’re feeling. Joy feels brighter, stress feels heavier, and relationship doubts can echo a little louder. For many, this season becomes a time of “holding on,” even when the heart is already halfway out the door. Tawkify asked 1,000 Americans about the quiet, complicated topic of why people delay breakups until after the holidays. What we found speaks to hope, obligation, and the deeply human desire to protect others even when a relationship has run its course.
In this article
Key Takeaways
- More than 1 in 4 people have stayed in unhappy relationships just to get through the holidays.
- People view Christmas (48%) as a bigger relationship test than Valentine’s Day (35%).
- Nearly 40% of people in relationships have faked happiness in their relationship during the holidays.
- Social media amplifies relationship performance: 79% of Americans say couples act more “performative” online during the holidays.
- More than 1 in 10 people (14%) have set a “breakup deadline” for after the holidays.
- 15% of people have kept a relationship alive just to avoid being single on New Year’s Eve.
Why Letting Go Feels Harder During the Holidays
The holidays can tug at our sense of responsibility. Sometimes, the pull is so strong that people stay longer in relationships than they truly want to.
More than a quarter of respondents (27%) said they remained in relationships past their emotional expiration date simply to make it through the holiday season. And this wasn’t a brief extension. Forty percent delayed a breakup for 1–2 months, 31% kept things going for a few weeks, and 20% stayed for 3 months or longer.
Many delayed breakups until after the holidays because a part of them still hoped things would get better, with half of those who delayed saying they were waiting for improvement. Others stayed out of compassion: 48% felt guilty about ending things at such a sensitive time, and 43% didn’t want to dampen their partner’s holiday. For 45%, the emotional weight of the season made the idea of a breakup feel too overwhelming or stressful.
Despite knowing the relationship was ending, 28% still spent the holidays with their partner’s family. And 14% quietly set a mental date to end things once the decorations came down.
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The Holidays Put Pressure on Relationships
Many people move through the season feeling like they’re navigating an invisible checklist of I’m expectations.
Christmas often heightens the emotional stakes of a relationship. Forty-eight percent said it brings more pressure than Valentine’s Day (35%). Nearly half, 45%, felt an unspoken expectation to reach meaningful milestones during the season, such as meeting the parents or making the relationship official.
Some respondents also felt pressure around emotional expression. Twelve percent sensed they were expected to say “I love you” for the first time during the holidays, and about one in five (19%) had already said it during this period. These moments can feel tender, but they can also feel rushed when shaped by seasonal expectations.
This atmosphere influenced decisions to stay in relationships that no longer felt quite right. Fifteen percent said they remained with a partner simply to avoid being single on New Year’s Eve, hoping to get through the season before reconsidering what came next.
Faking It for the Feed: How Social Media Drives Performative Holiday Relationships
When the world feels like it’s watching, many feel pressure to present a version of their relationship that looks picture-perfect, even if it doesn’t feel that way.
About 40% of people in relationships said they’ve pretended to be happier than they were during the holidays. And 79% believed couples in general become more performative on social media during this season.
Behind the festive posts, many were hiding the truth. Nearly 1 in 4 (24%) admitted to sharing holiday-themed content that didn’t reflect the reality of their relationship. Those cheerful captions and matching pajama photos often masked uncertainty and emotional strain.
All of this highlights how easy it is to get swept up in appearances during a high-pressure season and why people delay breakups until after the holidays. It also reminds us that meaningful connection has very little to do with polished photos or curated moments.
When we give ourselves permission to be honest about where we are emotionally, we create room for relationships that feel supportive, steady, and real. The holidays may invite performance, but they can also be an opportunity to choose authenticity and care, both for ourselves and the people we love.
Love, Light, and Letting Go
The holidays can bring out both the tenderness and the tension in our relationships, and this study shows just how often people navigate that complexity quietly. Many chose to postpone difficult conversations, protect a partner’s feelings, or present a brighter picture than they were truly living. These choices speak to how deeply we care, even when we are struggling.
As we look toward a new year, there is comfort in remembering that clarity and compassion can coexist. Giving ourselves permission to be honest, both with others and with ourselves, opens the door to relationships that feel true, supportive, and built to last.
Looking for more relationship guidance through the season? Read the top 9 holiday do’s and don’ts according to matchmakers.
Methodology
Tawkify surveyed 1,000 American adults across a range of relationship statuses: 48% were engaged or married, 18% were in a committed relationship, 29% were single, and 4% were in a situationship or an “it’s complicated” relationship. Respondents answered questions about their relationship behaviors and emotional decision-making during the holiday season. The data findings reflect self-reported attitudes and experiences.
About Tawkify
Tawkify is a modern matchmaking service built on human understanding rather than algorithms. Our matchmakers take the time to learn who you are and what you value, offering a thoughtful, personalized path to long-term partnership. If you’re ready for something real and ready to feel supported along the way, we’re here to help.
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