Dating takes time, and often we don’t want to give it the time it requires. We want to attract our long-term parter on the first date. we want them today, right now, five minutes ago. “Universe!” We say, “where is my right-fit love match! Where is my perfect specimen of a human being?!” “I want it now!” We tantrum…
and this reaction, from an energetic perspective, actually pushes away what we are looking for, and that is why our yearning starts to feel so painful.
This impatience for “the one” combined with not making enough space and availability in your calendar to cultivate your dating life can feel like a squeeze in the vice of expectations, and this narrows your capacity to receive what you want.
You see–while dating, even when you notice and observe unwanted attributes in your ideal mate, you are still moving through a necessary process of refining and selecting your experience. This is how you create more of what you want. From a manifestation perspective, you are pivoting toward what you do want powerfully when you stay present in the experience of the date, stay engaged and calm, and notice the attributes that you prefer and the attributes that you do not. This process will have a positive effect on your “vibe,” or the electromagnetic field that is in your heart beat. This element is measurable. You can feel it as you become more certain, more confident, and more refined in your dating experience and thus, in your choices.
If you do not make time to create the art and science of receptivity within your dating life–or even just make time for your dating life–you will always feel like you are chasing, and you will miss the mark, because you will be missing the whole point of dating. People who throw tantrums on dates and storm out because the date is not perfect, are not cultivating the romantic art of seduction or achieving what they want in love. Remember, perfection is a prison. Excellence is elastic. You want to be elastic and flexible while dating because it actually helps you receive, thus getting you more of what you want.
This is a practice, and you have to make time for it.
The key is to notice and be aware of your internal sorting process, and at the same time, be courteous and grateful to the date for offering you these realizations. In this sense, there is never actually a “bad date” because they are all offering you very useful data and intel for your life and relationship creation process.
This is precisely where your matchmaker likes to work with you. We get to be your sounding board and your reflection for the collage you are making of your ideal match. We help you gather all the best attributes and best experiences and be more aware of the tendencies and attributes you are sorting out of your dating experience.
You have to create space to receive what you want. That means being available for dates either through your Tawkify experience, or if you’re out in the rest of the ocean of the dating world. You have to make space within yourself to be delighted by another person, and this comes from the art of appreciation. If you are climbing the ladder of “no” and seeing what you do not like all the time, that is all you are ever going to get–more “no’s,” more of what you are not looking for. I invite you to hop off that ladder, and cultivate the art of receiving in your dating.
Start climbing the ladder of “YES.”
If you only have space in your calendar once or twice a month for a date or you are very reluctant to create availability for a date, it likely means that you are not ready for a relationship. Which is completely fine, its just something to be aware of.
Receive Everything,
Emily Tepper
Love Sherpa and author of Personal Rituals on Heartalytics.
