So, you’ve decided you’re ready to open your heart and find true love. That’s great! But now, what? How do you actually go about finding a match?
As much as we wish declaring your readiness for a relationship was enough to lead you to the love of your life, it doesn’t exactly work out that way. Finding true love can be a lot of work!
But just because it requires some effort doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. In fact, it’s totally worth it! And that’s where we can help.
In our guide on how to get into a relationship, we’ve outlined some advice that can help get you in a healthy mindset and place you where you need to be to find a partner. Whether you’re trying your hand at dating for the first time or getting back in the saddle, follow these tips on how to find love!
Love Yourself First and Foremost
The first step toward finding true love involves loving yourself. This requires understanding your needs and nurturing those needs, being kind to yourself, and taking the time to do what feeds your soul. When you love yourself, you appreciate your mind and body and avoid doing things that bring them harm.
Only once you have dedicated time and energy toward loving and caring for yourself will you then be ready to entertain a relationship. That said, it’s important to find peace in your singlehood. Be sure to remind yourself that you are complete without a partner. And when it comes to finding a partner, they should enhance and better the happy life you’ve created for yourself.
Determine What You Want in a Partner and Relationship
Part of your journey toward loving yourself should involve reflecting on what you want in a partner. What kind of personality traits are important to you? And what do you want and need them to bring to your relationship?
For instance, you might decide it’s crucial for you to be with someone reliable and responsible. Or perhaps you desire someone who will comfort and support you through life’s trials and tribulations. Also, consider their values. Is it essential for someone to share your political views? Or what about your religious values?
When reflecting on your dream partnership, consider what you want in a relationship, too. Are you looking to settle down and get married or simply enjoy a casual fling? And are children part of this equation? Consider whether you’re open to having children or dating someone who already has kids of their own.
As you start creating a picture of your ideal match, this information can help you date with intention.
Be True to Yourself
Once you’ve put some self-care into practice and begun pinpointing what you want in a partner and relationship, it’s crucial to stay true to yourself. If you’re looking for marriage material, don’t settle for someone who is only interested in snow-globing. Or if dating someone who shares your political and religious values is essential, don’t waste time on someone who isn’t willing to budge on their viewpoints.
You deserve someone who aligns with your expectations and intentions. Sure, they don’t have to mark off every single box, but they should mark off the important ones. Don’t let desperation or boredom steer you toward the wrong person out of convenience’s sake.
Do What You Love
If you’re wondering how to get into a relationship, begin by doing what you love. When you engage in the things that spark joy in you, you’ll find yourself being the best version of yourself, which is actually really attractive to others! Not to mention, when you do the hobbies you enjoy, you just might find a partner who is interested in those same activities.
For example, if you love learning new painting techniques, join that oil painting 101 class at the community college. Or, if you’re passionate about traveling, look into solo travel groups, where you might meet like-minded individuals. Whether you attend art museum openings or join a pick-up softball league in your community, these activities may help lead you to your perfect match.
Put Yourself Out There
Sure, you can online date from the comfort of your couch, but if you’re serious about finding true love, you’re going to have to leave your home every now and then. Yes, that might mean getting out of your comfort zone (and your PJs!) and putting yourself in situations where you can meet other people.
Search for opportunities where you have the opportunity to meet other singles. For instance, RSVP to your friend’s housewarming party, attend the mixer your alumna mater is hosting, and sign up for that kickboxing class you’ve been eying. Say yes to your neighbor’s invites, join community events, and even look into singles-only events in your town.
Don’t Put Too Much Pressure On Yourself
You probably want to know how to find love and how to find it right now, but it’s important to have realistic expectations. You could meet someone special at the grocery store this afternoon, or you could online date for months before finding a potential match. Good things take time, so try to enjoy the journey rather than simply focusing on your destination. Even if you don’t find the love of your life right off the bat, there’s a good chance you’ll meet some interesting people along the way who just may wind up being lifelong friends down the road.
Try Different Dating Avenues
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to dating, which means you may need to experiment with a bunch of different tactics. To cover all your bases, you might want to consider creating a dating profile, meeting with a professional matchmaker, and going out with that person your friend recommended. Or, you may decide to join that singles meet-up in your community and go out on a Friday night with your wingman.
You don’t have to do everything at once, but it is a good idea to be open to the different ways of finding love in this day and age. Try one or two at first, and see where it takes you!
Let the World Know You’re Open to Dating
Let’s be honest: your friends, relatives, and even your coworkers know you better than anyone else. What’s more, they have your best interests in mind. So, why not let them help you find a partner? Who knows? You might just be surprised that your coworker’s brother is a perfect match for you or that your friend’s cousin’s neighbor shares your passion for pottery!
With this in mind, let the world know you’re single and ready to mingle! Tell your hairdresser you’re looking for love, and tell your neighbor you’re open to dating. Heck, tell the cashier ringing up your groceries and your trainer at the gym! You never know who just might know someone could just wind up being your soulmate.
Know When to Take a Break
No matter if you’re looking to find love in your 50s or your 20s, it can take a lot out of you! Even if you have a positive dating experience, it does bring its share of highs and lows. Between dates letting you down and people standing you up, it can sometimes wear on you and your self-confidence.
If you’re starting to experience some dating fatigue, do realize that it’s totally normal to feel that way, and it’s ok to take a break. Step away from the online apps, skip that big party this weekend, and tune into yourself. Remember, you want to put your best foot forward when dating, but you can’t do that if you’re feeling worn down, tired, and discouraged. Therefore, it’s important to know when to take a break to recharge and focus on self-care so you can eventually get back into the dating scene feeling better than ever!