Opposites Attract: Unveiling the Soulmates Connection
Whether you like rom-coms or not, there’s something to be said about the role they play in people’s perception of finding love. In your search for a partner, you’re probably wondering if soulmates exist, how to find a person that fits you, and if opposites really do attract.
Read on for our take on the idea of soulmates, how to know if someone is right for you, and ways to stay open to finding that undeniable connection.
What Is a Soulmate?
Some people think of a soulmate as the only person for them, referring to them as “the one.” But that’s a broad description and doesn’t really delve into what makes someone right for you.
Our definition of a soulmate is a person that you feel intimately connected to, who you share physical attraction with, and who challenges you to grow while loving you exactly for who you are.
Sounds like a large order, right? But contrary to many people’s beliefs about how there’s only one person for them, here at Tawkify, we think that there are many people that someone can potentially form a meaningful romantic connection with. (Read more about love vs. infatuation.)
So, maybe you have 5, 10, or 500 potential soulmates, or what we like to call “compatible partners,” in the world. With that perspective, the search for someone to love and be loved by isn’t so scary. It’s just a matter of meeting the right person at the right time.
Do Soulmates Always End Up Together?
Rom-coms and romance novels often send the message that, no matter what, people will end up with their one true love. But your life trajectory depends on so many factors, like where you grew up, where you live and work, the people you meet along the way, and even small occurrences throughout each day.
No matter where you are in the world, chances are that you will meet someone who has compatible partner material. So, the answer to the question is yes and no: If you believe that there is only one person for you, it might be overwhelming to think about the journey to finding them. If you change your thinking to, “There are so many people that I could end up with—they just have to fit my compatibility test!”, then the idea of ending up together is much more viable.
Do Opposites Attract?
In your journey to finding love, there’s a good chance that you’ve considered the age-old question, “Do opposites attract?” The answer isn’t straightforward. While some couples like to say that they’re polar opposites, if you take a closer look, they probably share several similarities.
Think of the couples, old and new, that you know in your life: One person might be outgoing and the other shy, one partner might be patient and flexible while the other is more rigid, or one is analytical while the other is artistic. These are just examples of contrasting traits that are noticeable to people around them. But deep down, these couples probably share similar values, goals, beliefs, or priorities that tie them together in an intimate way.
Opposites do attract, but remember that compatibility is a star player—you just might not notice it from the outside looking in.
Do or Don’t: A List of Partner Criteria
In the search for a romantic partner, many people create lists—big and small—of all the things they do or don’t want in a mate. Some are serious (like “must put family first”), while others, well, aren’t (like “must have a man bun”). While making a list of deal-breakers is important, be careful not to be too specific regarding interests or physical traits.
Avoid demanding that a potential love interest matches your own interests exactly. Here’s why:
- An individual must have individual passions. In relationships, it’s important to have ownership of the things that you love to do. Sharing your passions with someone else is an added bonus, but remember that doing things that bring you joy by yourself is equally as important.
- Love begins with self-discovery and self-love. If you never focus on the “me,” the “we” suffers. Self-care and “me” time are two keys to healthy relationships. In other words, maintain your independence and respect your partner’s, too. (Hint: Trusting and respecting a partner’s independence is a healthy attachment style.)
- Differences create the opportunity to learn, teach, and be adventurous. Maybe your partner or love interest incorporates surfing into their everyday routine, but you’ve never tried it. This is a great chance to learn something new! The same goes for a hobby that you love and could teach to your partner.
Remember: Some interests are fleeting, so don’t base your partner criteria on things that aren’t necessary for a healthy relationship or that might change in the future.
Instead, make sure that your deal-breakers relate to your goals and pursuits, values, and priorities. And yes, it’s okay if some of these involve a hobby! Just try not to weed out people who aren’t exactly like you.
How Tawkify Can Help You Find Your Soulmate
Finding your soulmate involves finding a person who you can foster a deep connection with, who is different from you in the best ways, and who shares similarities on important things. How to do that? Use a matchmaking service like Tawkify!
You Choose Your Matchmaking Approach
When you sign up with Tawkify, you can choose your own adventure, so to speak. You can select a passive approach, where you’ll get matched if and when one of our matchmakers selects your profile. Or you can choose the proactive approach, where you’re paired with a dedicated matchmaker who guarantees matches that are personalized to you.
Work With an Expert Matchmaker
Tawkify matchmakers are experts in their fields and have proven experience making successful matches. Finding your compatible partner is made easier when you have someone by your side whose goal is to find your match.
While voicing your preferences is the best way to get matched with someone who has soulmate material, try to only voice traits as a match priority if they are essential life elements that your partner must share. What interests classify as essential life elements? This differs for everyone. Here are some examples:
- You have children from a previous relationship, so your partner must be supportive of your role as a parent.
- You are a practicing [insert religion or belief here]. It’s important to you that your partner shares your beliefs.
- You’re ready to settle down and need someone who’s ready to commit, too.
- What about Fido? You have a pet that is an equal member of the family, so a potential partner must be an animal lover.
- Your career requires you to travel for much of the year, so a partner needs to understand and be flexible with your schedule and/or enjoy traveling with you.
As you can see, these essential life elements are separate from interests. And while opposites can attract, these lifestyle prerequisites can, and often should, be things that your future partner shares.
Be sure to discuss these with your matchmaker so that they can set you up with people who have future soulmate potential—and who can complement your differences.
