Tawkify Matchmaker, Alyssa Bunn, was interviewed by Elite Daily last week about the physical indicators of “love.” In The Physical Things That Happen To You When You Start Falling For Someone, Bunn outlines the biological changes that occur in each stage of a relationship, from the first date to “being in love.”
So, what comes first? Alison Segel from Elite Daily continues…
1. Attraction
Get grossed out when your guy’s hands are all sweaty on a date?
Don’t be. According to Bunn, it’s actually a compliment.
She says,
Want to know if your date is interested? Check for two things: presence and attention. If your [date] digs you, they will be present and attentive, as their brain reacts to making new connections required to form memories.
Also, look for immediate biological responses to attraction, like dilated pupils, sweaty hands, and slurred or interrupted speech, and physical signs, such as eye contact.
2. Dating
Bunn says you may feel that you’re stressed out and feel like jumping into the sack more than usual when you enter the dating stage.
“During the beginning stages of dating, our amygdala (what controls fear) is in high-gear, making quick judgments to keep us safe. This is one of many reasons daters quickly jump into sex. It lowers our stress!” she explains.
Another good way to deal with that stress is meditation: “A safer way to reduce our triggers? I encourage clients to meditate through apps like Headspace, which literally shrink our stress,” Bunn says.
3. Falling in love
Physically, it turns out that men and women fall in love differently.
Bunn explains this phenomenon:
When a man starts to fall in love, his testosterone levels drop. They may feel fatigued, moody, and you may witness a reduced sex drive, weight gain, or muscle loss.
You may witness him in sheer euphoria, then quickly pivot to a state of anxiety or despair. For men, falling in love can feel quite deflating, which is why many men ‘ghost’ or leave when things are getting deeper. But here’s your biology lesson for the day, ladies: Once he commits, he commits!
I knew all those guys who ghosted me were actually in love with me! I knew it!!
Bunn continues, “As for women, we also experience similar manic emotions while falling in love, but the most common effects are loss of appetite, insomnia, and an abnormally high use of Emojis.”
4. Being in love
Being in love feels like being on drugs. Don’t do drugs. Do love.
Would you buy that T-shirt from me? Let me know before I open up my Etsy shop.
Bunn explains,
Now, when we are truly in love, we’re all on ‘drugs.’ Not only are our dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin levels at all-time highs, but our amygdala — our fear — is ‘gone.’
We lose our judgment, put on our rose-colored glasses, and ride the crazy, little ride called Love for nearly two years. The feelings we have during this period are as addictive as cocaine. It’s what I like to call ‘temporary insanity.’
Love is addictive as cocaine! That is insane. Love is insane!
Read the full article on Elite Daily.
Alyssa Bunn
Professional Matchmaker at Tawkify and Founder of Love & Co
