When readers submit good questions through our Heartalytics ask page, we send them directly to our team of matchmakers.
These tidbits of insight usually end up being funny and informative- and everyone can benefit from a little extra matchmaker expertise! You can find this series tagged as “Matchmaker Says,” if you would like to read more.
A recent reader came to us with a topic that films, books and researchers have examined for decades – the May-December relationship.
Fred inquires:
Your honest opinion re older man/younger woman relationship! Occasionally referred to as a May-December relationship. (And what does TMI mean?)
Our take?
Matchmaker Sierra says:
Many studies say that the happiest married women are those who are married to men at least 5 years younger than them. However, I recently came across this article, which showed findings that marrying an older man shortens a woman’s lifespan, but having a younger husband reduces it even more. Therefore, a younger spouse may have a beneficial psychological effect on the older partner, but apparently not a physical one…I say it’s probably best for people to date around their own age!
Matchmaker Jane says:
Here’s the question – Are you looking for Ms. Right or Ms. Right Now?
Sure, it’s totally possible to have a great time with someone who is much younger than you, but chances are you’re more likely to develop something meaningful with someone around your own age. It’s all in the Diane Keaton/Jack Nicholson film – Something’s Gotta Give. P.S. TMI = Too Much Information.
Matchmaker Olivia says:
Yummy food for thought: “…women over 35 often report the same thing. The difference is that most 40-something women aren’t lamenting the fact that they don’t turn the heads of college boys. Many of them would just like to turn the heads of guys their own age. Not so for their male peers, many of whom are busy chasing substantially younger women. Middle-aged men don’t seem to value validation from women their own age as much as they value it from women 10 to 25 years younger.
This isn’t just opinion. It was borne out in the now-infamous results of the 2010 OK Cupid survey, which found that in the world of online dating, men seemed almost universally interested in pursuing substantially younger women. Men’s desired age range for potential matches was dramatically skewed against their chronological peers. A typical 42 year-old-man, for example, would be willing to date a woman as young as 27 (15 years younger than himself) but no older than 45 (just three years older.) And as OkCupid discovered, men regularly devoted most of their attention to women at the very youngest end of their stated range — and frequently messaged female members who were well beneath that.” Hugo Schwyzer, Jezebel
How do you feel about the May-December relationship?
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Love,
Your Tawkify Matchmakers
Photography by Norman Jean Roy
