Tawkify Favorites

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Matchmaker Says: To Tell or Not To Tell

The relationship with your matchmaker is unlike any other in your life. There is trust, respect, camaraderie--yes. But, you are not friends in the traditional sense. You are working together to achieve a very serious and important goal...so what does that really look like...

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

The relationship with your matchmaker is unlike any other in your life. There’s trust, respect, camaraderie — yes. But, you’re not friends in the traditional sense…you’re working together to achieve a very serious and important goal.

What does that really look like and what should you discuss in your first matchmaker meeting? We asked our matchmaking team to address this topic by laying out the ideal dialogue between matchmaker and client. Here’s what made the cut:


  • Share and define desired characteristics, with anecdotes and examples (i.e. what does “adventurous” mean to you”? What does it mean for someone to be “passionate”?)

  • Reasons why someone should date you. Be specific. Avoid using generic phrases like, “I’m successful” or “I’m kind.”

  • What scares you about dating? What excites you about dating?

  • What’s the last thing that made you laugh so much, you cried?
    This one often stumps people but can be indicative of someone’s humor/what brings them pure joy.

  • Decide with your Matchmaker the best frequency of communication, as well as the best medium, (e.g. email, phone, text, etc).

  • Preferences relating to wanting/not wanting to marry, have kids, religion, political views, ethnicity — and clarify how important these preferences really are to you when balanced with other characteristics or criteria.

  • Your honest thoughts about every match. The better the details, the better your future matches. You needn’t begin a sentence with, “I don’t want to be mean but…”

“Your Matchmaker is not here to judge you, only understand you.”


  • Desired shared interests. Interests are fleeting, plus it’s okay (good even!) to have different interests. For more on this topic, also read My Soulmate Is Nothing Like Me.

  • Family and/or personal drama that does not relate to your dating life.

You might think a viral pandemic would really get a matchmaker down. And for a moment, I was concerned. Let’s face it, nothing spells trouble in the romance business like a contagious virus! But it didn’t take long for me to consider potential silver linings…savings for my clients in terms of time, expense and stress chief among them.

That said, after personally planning, executing and collecting feedback from many virtual dates, I see that while those are the most obvious perks, they are neither the only nor the most beneficial reasons to take your next date virtual.

Subscribe to
our newsletter

    Popular Posts

    5 Ways to Win An Argument In A Relationship

    It’s happened– your Springtime in Paris new relationship has hit a significant bump in the road. You’re feeling the urge to say something 180 degrees from “you’re just so perfect and amazing” to your new love interest. Congratulations– this is your first opportunity for a growth power-up!

    Quell the impulse to text “We need to talk.” If you’ve already typed it in, with your thumb hovering above “send,” aim for “delete” instead. No one wants to read that; no one wants to be forewarned of impending doom unless they’re watching a movie. You’ll only succeed in spurring the imminent arsenal of defense…

    Read More

    GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU AM: “Love Again” by Run The Jewels

    The other week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is a new father – we’ll call him Cronus – and we were talking about parental instinct. He lowered his voice conspiratorially, considered the infant in his lap and said, “Sometimes I love my baby so much that I want to eat him. Is that normal?” 

    Turns out, it’s not just normal–it’s science! Olfactory chemical signals–the smells of newborn babies have been linked to dopamine spikes in the brains of new mothers, essentially triggering the same neurological reward circuit activated when a very hungry person eats, or when a heroin addict shoots up…

    Read More

    5 Ways to Avoid the Cliff of Contemporary Dating

    I have a friend who dates online… a lot. You could say she’s popular. She gets out again and again because she’s fabulous–which is obvious, even through a screen. Yet she arrives each time preloaded with every personal detail about her date–their hometown, full legal name, and family history–often even their annual income and whether or not they rent or own. IT IS RIDICULOUS. The internet is a fantastic tool for writing a thesis, but should it be used to compose a 15-page, pre-introduction memoir on a potential romantic interest’s life story?…

    Read More