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When to Keep Trying in a Relationship (& When to Call it Quits)

Being in a relationship isn’t always a walk in the park. In fact, even couples who are in the most loving, healthy relationships have to put in the work to maintain that happy relationship status. That said, not every relationship is meant to last forever, and not every couple is truly compatible. 

If you’re experiencing bumps in your relationship, how do you know when to keep fighting and when to throw in the towel? 

In our guide, we address some green signs that your relationship is worth saving and some red signs that it’s time to call it quits. We also discuss a few questions you and your partner should ask yourselves when evaluating your relationship and provide strategies for rebuilding your relationship if you decide to give it another go. 

Signs That Your Relationship is Worth Saving

Just because you and your partner are going through a rough patch doesn’t mean you necessarily need to call it quits on your relationship. 

When evaluating the health of your relationship, see if any of the following signs sound familiar. 

Mutual respect and love still exist

Mutual respect and love go a long way in a relationship. If you’re still at a point where you care deeply for each other, want the best for each other, and earnestly want to make things work, then there may still be hope for the future of your relationship. 

Alternatively, if you’ve lost respect for one another or notice yourselves having wandering eyes, it’s time to assess whether continuing the relationship is really in your best interest. 

Willingness to communicate and compromise

If you and your partner are open to having honest conversations and making compromises, your relationship might still have a fighting chance. After all, open communication is a major sign of a healthy relationship, so if you’re both still willing to talk through your problems and discuss solutions, you’re in good shape. 

Shared goals and visions for the future

If both parties genuinely want to stay together and have a shared vision for the future, then your relationship might be salvageable. Those shared goals might mean looking for jobs in the same city, saving up for a home to purchase together, or even planning that dream trip to Italy together next summer.

It’s when a couple begins making plans independent of each other or without regards to the other party that things can start getting messy. 

Red Flags That Indicate It Might Be Time to Call It Quits

When evaluating your relationship health, look for these red signs that signify it’s time to move on. 

Consistent emotional or physical harm

Does your partner constantly put you down, call your names, and make fun of your ideas? Or worse, do they push you, throw things at you, or cause you physical harm in any way? If so, these are signs of emotional and physical abuse, and we strongly advise you to remove yourself from the toxic situation. 

There is no room for emotional or physical harm in a healthy relationship. Any kind of abuse is a major red flag. 

If you feel unsafe in your relationship, reach out to your friends or family for support, involve the police, or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Lack of trust and recurring dishonesty

Trust is the foundation of strong relationships, and without it, you’ll have a hard time building a healthy one. If you and your partner have trust issues, it can cause a whole slew of other problems. 

For example, if your partner is constantly lying to you, you’ll feel insecure and unable to rely or depend on them. This can lead to a lack of intimacy, breakdowns in communication, and an overall sense of stress and anxiety.  

Continuous dishonesty and betrayal are disrespectful to you and your relationship, and you deserve better. 

Feeling more stress than joy in the relationship

Every relationship has its rough patches, but if you’re constantly feeling stressed or upset about issues in your relationship, it might be time to move on. This kind of stress can make you feel disconnected and distant from your partner, but it can also negatively impact your mental health if you’re in a constant state of anxiety. 

Being in a relationship should bring you joy and happiness. There should be more sunshine than thunderstorms, but if that’s not the case for you, you may want to consider making changes or moving on. 

Key Questions to Ask Yourself Before Making a Decision

If you’re caught at a crossroads, sit down with your partner and ask yourselves these questions to determine if you should carry on with your relationship. 

Are both partners equally committed to making it work?

Fixing your relationship is not something that can happen overnight. It requires time, patience, and commitment from both partners. 

You can’t improve your relationship if only one of you is willing to put in the effort. It takes two to tango, meaning you both have to agree to make changes and follow through on the expectations you’ve set as a couple. 

If you notice it’s a one-sided effort, it will likely become a futile attempt to save your relationship. 

Do you feel more fulfilled with or without this person?

Your partner should enhance the relationship you have with yourself. When you’re with the right person, they should build you up and make you feel loved and supported. 

However, if you feel like your partner dims your light, dampens your self-esteem, or makes you feel insecure, they’re probably not the one. And if you feel lighter and more energized when they’re not around, this might be a sign it’s time to call it quits. 

Is there potential for growth and change?

Some relationships are simply dead-ends. No matter how much you try to fix them, it’s simply impossible to overcome the issues or make changes. Now, you and your partner need to decide if there’s room for growth and change in your relationship or whether it’s doomed. 

When evaluating your relationship, consider the things you’d like to improve and whether there are actionable ways to accomplish that. 

For instance, if you and your partner struggle with communication, can you schedule time to sit down and have conversations and practice active listening? Or, if you’re feeling distant, can you plan a weekly date night where you unplug and dedicate time to each other?

However, if there are bigger issues, like the fact that your partner can’t remain faithful to you, it’ll likely be harder to find solutions to your problems, in which case, your relationship may not be viable for the long run. 

How to Keep Trying: Strategies for Rebuilding the Relationship

The good news is that there are ways to rebuild your relationship and overcome your difficulties by focusing on communication, seeking therapy, and regaining trust. 

Effective communication techniques

Open communication is a big sign of a healthy relationship, so if you can work on your communication skills, you might be able to put yourselves on a path toward relationship longevity. 

There’s more to communication than simply having conversations with your partner though. The best way to foster effective communication is to dedicate time where you can give each other your undivided attention without any distractions. During this time, you should practice expressing your feelings, actively listening, maintaining eye contact, and being empathetic. Avoid interrupting, judging, and dismissing each other, as this should be a safe space where you can let your guard down and discuss your thoughts and feelings. 

Seeking counseling or therapy

Professional help can do wonders for your relationship. Even just having a third party listen to your issues and provide an outsider’s perspective can help you see your relationship through a different lens. 

When you and your partner meet with a counselor, you can explore your relationship and receive tools for improving your partnership. If you’re both willing to listen to the professional advice and follow their guidance, you may be one step closer to reviving your relationship. 

Rebuilding trust and intimacy

Rebuilding trust and intimacy in a relationship takes time. The process involves acknowledging the breakdown in trust, taking responsibility, working toward forgiveness, and practicing compassion. To regain that trust, there needs to be consistency in your actions and a commitment to be better. If one of you continues to betray the other, you won’t be able to create a foundation on which to move your relationship forward. 

Only once you begin to restore that trust will you find it easier to regain your intimacy. After all, intimacy relies on feelings of mutual trust, support, and security—without them, you’ll struggle to feel connected on a physical and emotional level. 

Knowing When It’s Time to Call It Quits

So, how do you know when to start moving on from a relationship?

Recognizing when efforts are one-sided

One of the questions we recommend asking yourselves is, are both partners equally committed to making it work? If the answer is no, then it’s time to move on. There’s no point in expecting your relationship to improve if only one of you is putting in the effort. 

Repairing a relationship is hard work, and if you’re not mutually dedicated to the process, you won’t yield the results you want.

Accepting that not all relationships are meant to last

No matter how much you love each other or how long you’ve been together, your relationship simply may not be able to withstand the test of time. 

And that’s ok! Not every relationship is meant to last, and you certainly shouldn’t force it to. Sometimes, a relationship will run its course even if you’re not ready to accept it. 

When you let go of a relationship that isn’t serving you, you can make more room in your life for more enriching relationships with your family, friends, and future partner. 

Moving forward with confidence and clarity

Yes, moving on from a relationship can be a painful process, but it can also be an empowering one. When you recognize that your relationship isn’t meant to last, you can walk away with confidence and clarity, knowing you’ve made the right decision. 

Instead of hanging on to a doomed relationship, you can refocus that energy toward healing your heart and moving forward with your life. 

How Tawkify Can Help You Find a Relationship Worth Fighting For

Not every relationship is worth fighting for, but our Tawkify matchmakers are committed to helping you find one that is. 

Personalized matchmaking to find a partner aligned with your values and goals

At Tawkify, our professional matchmakers have the skills and expertise to pair you up with compatible matches that align with your relationship goals. We host one-on-one consultations to learn about you and your dating criteria, and then we hand-select viable candidates that suit your preferences. We only work with committed, relationship-ready singles who are serious about finding love, so you can rest assured you’re in good hands when you turn to Tawkify.

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