The early stages of a relationship are filled with excitement, joy, and, let’s be honest, a little bit of angst. Uncertainties abound about where this budding romance will lead and if the other person feels the same way you do. Plus, you just want to know if you’re right for each other. What seems so simple can be quite complex!
That’s where understanding the early signs of compatibility can help you in determining if you should forge ahead or take a step back.
Ready to learn the signs you’re compatible with your partner? Here’s what you need to know before embarking on your journey to lifelong love.
You Share Relationship Values
One of the top signs you’re compatible is sharing relationship values. Why? Because these are the things that guide how you live your life and the relationships you develop and maintain along the way. It only makes sense that a long-term partner should share these, too.
Some examples of relationship values could be family, religion, honesty, and communication. Perhaps sharing the same religion is important to you, due to cultural identity, emotional support, and so on. If that’s the case, then finding someone who shares your beliefs and religious practices will help to create lifelong understanding and harmony. Add it to your deal-breakers list.
Or maybe you put honesty above all else, needing this to be able to trust anyone in your life. That means that your partner needs to share this value, too.
Sharing values helps you both create relationship goals to continually work toward for a successful partnership. Without common goals, you both might be left feeling misunderstood. Read more about relationship goals and values.
You Respect Each Other’s Individual Needs
Everyone handles emotions, social interactions, conflict, and stress differently. If the person you’re dating respects how you need to process certain aspects of daily life, that’s one more tick in the compatibility checklist.
You might be thinking, “But we’re completely different personalities! Does that mean we’re not compatible?” Nope! Opposites attract, and that just means that you both have to be that much more understanding of the other person’s needs.
This could look like letting your partner recharge alone after an evening of socializing or encouraging them to go out and meet friends to fill their social interaction bucket. Maybe one of you likes to talk it out when you’re stressed and the other would rather go on a solo walk to think things through.
No matter your personal preferences for navigating daily life, try to find someone who supports however you need to process.
You Have Shared Interests
It’s probably no secret that one of the signs you’re compatible is having shared interests. Sometimes that’s what brings people together in the first place. But it’s worth reiterating that enjoying activities or experiences together is a great way to bond and grow closer to each other.
This doesn’t mean that you have to have the same hobbies or spend your money on the same things or watch the same reality TV show. But it does mean that you need to have alignment on at least one thing that you enjoy doing together—because this is how you’ll create memories.
If you’ve just met someone and they seem to have completely different interests, don’t write them off just yet. See if there is something new that you can try together.
You Communicate Well
Effective communication is not easy. You’ve probably found that you need to tweak the way that you communicate depending on who you’re with, whether it’s colleagues, your brother, or your best bud. Everyone has a different method for processing and working through conflict, and they have preferred ways of feeling loved.
As you spend more time with the person you’re dating, you’ll get a better idea of how they like to show and be shown love and how they handle conflicts or arguments. These are wonderful opportunities to see how you both navigate these aspects of a relationship together.
While you might not find communication easy, does it at least feel productive? Is your partner receptive when you do communicate? Do you both strive to work through conflicts in healthy ways? Are you both communicating your needs in terms of love languages? If you answered yes to these questions, these are signs you’re compatible.
You Feel Safe Being Vulnerable
Being able to trust someone with your deepest thoughts and feelings—without being judged—is important for any successful relationship. Vulnerability, while quite scary sometimes, is one of the best ways to get to know the real person in front of you. And that all starts with creating a safe space in which to ask questions, recall the past, ruminate about the future, and just generally speak freely about life.
If you feel comfortable opening up to your partner, and they feel the same about you, that’s just another sign that you’re compatible.
You Show Up for Each Other
Part of compatibility in relationships is mutual support, meaning that you both show up for each other. When one of you is sick or has a big presentation or just got a promotion or needs a ride to the airport, you know that the other will be there to bring you soup or give you encouragement or pop champagne or hop in the car to see you off at the terminal.
Feeling like you can rely on your significant partner is not only an early sign of compatibility, it’s also an indicator of what the future could look like. Growing older brings with it highs and lows, from the challenges of sickness or aging parents to the joy of children or a new job opportunity. Knowing that they’ll be there for you through it all, and vice versa, is one of the qualities of a good partner.
You Have Romantic Chemistry
One of the early signs of compatibility is romantic chemistry, that seemingly indefinable quality of a new romance that makes your heart flutter. There’s no denying that physical chemistry plays a role, but that’s not the only aspect: there’s easy conversation, comfort in being with each other, intellectual and emotional connection, and just generally not wanting to be apart.
Have you felt or noticed any of these signs of romantic chemistry? If so, they can also be signs you’re compatible.
Any relationship needs to have a foundation of trust to be successful. In the beginning of a relationship, maybe you look for signs of “little t” trust, like showing up when they say they will or not embellishing certain descriptions of their life. As the partnership grows, it turns into “big T” trust, like knowing that they’re treating your finances well, that you can trust them with your thoughts and feelings, that they’re being faithful, and so on.
When there is mutual trust, a relationship can flourish.
You Accept Each Other for Who You Are
There’s nothing better than feeling like you can completely be yourself around the people you love. If you’re not hesitant to sing at the top of your lungs in the shower, wear every color of the rainbow in your outfit, get nerdy about your job—basically, if you’re not afraid to be yourself—around your significant other, that’s a major sign of compatibility in relationships.
Now that you know all the signs you’re compatible with a potential partner, you can be more confident as you move forward in relationships to find the person you can share life with.