Finding a soulmate or even choosing the right companion can often feel like a secret code for only the lucky few to crack. You might find yourself searching for a partner at no avail, picking the wrong types of people, or getting frustrated before you even dip your toes in the dating pool.
Yes, dating can be tedious at times, but the truth is, there is no secret code. Everyone is capable of finding love and experiencing dating success—it’s just a matter of going about it the right way.
In our guide on how to survive dating, we’ve rounded up some of the best expert advice on how to date successfully. Practice some of these tips, and you just might find yourself with a keeper before you know it!
Determine What You Want in a Relationship
A big part of figuring out how to survive dating comes with knowing what kind of relationship you want and pursuing those with similar goals. After all, if you’re looking for a serious relationship that leads to marriage, you’re probably going to feel super frustrated and defeated if you’re only dating people who want a summer fling.
Give some thought to your long-term relationship goals. It’s totally fine if you’re only interested in fun and flirty relationships here and there right now, but if that’s the case, don’t seek out others who are biting at the bit to walk down the aisle.
Understanding your relationship goals—and searching for others who share similar ones—will help you have more dating success, as you’ll be more likely to be aligned and on the same page about your future together.
Make Sure You’re Over Your Ex
If you really want to have success with dating, you have to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. Some examples of the right reasons include wanting to find someone who treats you kindly, respects you, supports you, and adds value to your life. Meanwhile, some examples of the wrong reasons for dating include wanting to find someone who will help you get over your ex, make your ex jealous, act as a rebound, or provide you with a distraction.
If you’re still hung up on your ex, it’s going to be a whole lot harder for you to successfully date and find a match.
Assess Your Past Relationships
We’re not telling you to reopen closed wounds, but some good can come from evaluating your past relationships. Think about the kinds of people you’ve dated and what your relationship looked like. Are there any similarities between your exes? Do you notice any patterns in your previous relationships? Or do you now recognize some red flags you may have overlooked?
If you can identify some of the things that may have contributed to the demise of your previous relationships, you can use that intel to avoid those things in your future relationships.
If you’ve got a laundry list of requirements and expectations of your future partner, it’s time to toss it aside. Limiting your dating pool to guys with beards and tattoos or blonde women with impressive careers is really going to impact your dating success.
Sure, someone might tick all the boxes on paper, but what good does that do if you don’t have chemistry with them? When you’re willing to ease off some of your dating requirements, especially the superficial ones, you might be surprised at how many more eligible partners there are out there for you.
Experiment with Online Dating
Online dating is a big part of modern dating these days, so don’t knock it until you try it. So, how do you do online dating successfully? The first step is experimenting with the apps until you find one you like. For instance, you might prefer the kind that lets you swipe through matches or a certain platform geared to specific people, like those who practice the same religion as you or share the same ethnicity as you. You can even find apps that curate matches for you.
Once you’ve settled on an app or two to try out, research some online dating tips for beginners. For example, you’ll want to find some flattering photos that accurately represent the way you currently look and write a profile that provides an honest description of yourself.
Listen to Your Friend’s Suggestions
Your friends know you better than anyone else, so if they say they think you’d be compatible with someone, why wouldn’t you give them a chance? Being open to blind dates that your friends set up for you can be a great way to meet someone who is a good match for you. Your friends know your likes and dislikes, so they sometimes wind up being the ideal matchmakers.
And the worst-case scenario? Even if there’s no chemistry during your date, you might just make a new friend along the way!
Do Things That Align with Your Interests
As annoying as it can be to hear, going out and socializing is a great way to meet new people. However, for this tip, we want to take it one step further and encourage you to go to places that actually interest you, where you’re more likely to find people who share those same interests.
For example, if you’re an art history buff, why not check out the new art museum opening in town? Or, if you love playing soccer, consider joining your local soccer league and attending some co-ed pick-up games.
Instead of going to a crowded bar or concert that attracts all walks of life, you may have more dating success frequenting places where people like you are more inclined to gather.
Make Sure You’re Relationship Ready
Relationship readiness is more than just feeling ready for love; it’s the knowledge of being ready for a commitment and the inevitable effort necessary to maintain that commitment. It’s also the ability to trust—not just the trust created in a loving partnership, but the trust one has in themselves.
How can you tell if you are truly ready for a long-term relationship? It’s a matter of doing the work. The one guarantee about dating is that everyone has a past and baggage that comes along with it. When said baggage isn’t properly dealt with, it can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors such as projecting past wounds onto present experiences. Being self-aware means understanding triggers, where they come from, and the information that those triggers are working to convey. Only then can past experiences become opportunities for growth, which translate into relationship readiness.
Work with an Expert
When it comes to health, wellness, education, and home repairs, common sense says to hire an expert. So, why does the modern single believe they have all of the tools and expertise required to manage their own love life? Instead of relying on your own dating strategies, it might be time to turn to an expert matchmaker who has the skills, knowledge, and expertise to help your love life.
Matchmakers do the heavy lifting for you. They’ll do all the research, narrow down perspectives, introduce you to potential matches, and even help you arrange your first dates. With a matchmaker in your corner, you may find yourself having more dating success than ever before.
Keep It Fun
If you’re wondering how to survive dating, you might be going into it with the wrong mindset. After all, dating is supposed to be fun and exciting, not something you dread and loathe!
Rather than complaining about the experience or getting caught up in all the negative aspects of dating, try taking a more positive approach. Can you see the fun of meeting someone new? Or even get excited about trying a new restaurant for your upcoming date? Seeing the silver lining in dating may help you be more open to finding a match and even make you seem more approachable and interesting to potential suitors.