How Much Time Are You Wasting on Dating Apps? A Look at Dating’s Hidden Time Costs

Dating apps were supposed to save us time. Just a few taps and love is on the way, right? But for many singles, especially busy professionals, the real story looks a lot more like a part-time job with no benefits. To find out just how much time we’re really spending on swipes, small talk, and first dates that go nowhere, we surveyed American singles who’ve used dating apps in the past year. The numbers reveal a modern dating landscape that’s more draining than dazzling.

Key Takeaways

• Among top dating apps, users swipe an average of 40 times before getting a match.
• Gen Z users swipe an average of 34 times before finding a match.
• In the last year, 27% of dating app users said that none of their first dates led to second dates.
• The average dating app user is ghosted 4 times a year. 
• Women spend 45% more time than men getting ready for dates, but they are more likely to be ghosted (5 times vs. 4 times in the last year).
• Dating app fatigue is a real phenomenon: 75% of users have taken a break from dating apps in the past year, with Gen Z leading the way (76%). 

Swipes, Setups, and Screen Time: The Digital Dating Clock

Finding love online was supposed to make things easier. Just download, swipe, match, repeat. But behind every “It’s a match!” notification lies a quiet time drain that few singles talk about. And for those balancing careers, workouts, and maybe a pet who already takes most of your emotional energy, that time adds up fast.

For most users, swiping efficiency is more myth than magic. A third said it takes a week or longer just to meet someone after matching, while another third rarely ever meets their matches in person. Even before they send a single message, more than 1 in 10 users spend one to two hours crafting their profiles. That’s a hefty investment for something that might never leave the chat window.

On average, top dating app users swipe 40 times before getting a match. Gen Z users take slightly fewer swipes, averaging 34, suggesting they may be a bit more efficient at turning right swipes into connections.

And not all apps are created equal when it comes to swiping. OkCupid daters average 45 swipes before matching, with Coffee Meets Bagel (42) and Grindr and Bumble (41) right behind. In other words, finding “the one” still takes a lot of thumb mileage. 

More Prep, Less Payoff: The Emotional and Physical Time Suck

You’ve matched, messaged, and finally set a date. Now comes the real work — the prep, the outfit changes, and the hopeful buzz before that first meeting. But for many singles, the energy that goes into getting ready often outlasts the date itself.

For more than a quarter of users (27%), none of their first dates led to a second date. That’s a lot of time spent planning, prepping, and pep-talking yourself in the mirror, only to start the cycle all over again next week.

Sometimes the date doesn’t even make it off the calendar. Nearly half of app users (45%) said they’ve had a date canceled at the last minute. The biggest culprits were Grindr and Facebook Dating, where more than half (51%) of users reported being left hanging.

Getting ready is another hidden time drain. About 41% of users admitted they have spent more time preparing for a date than the date actually lasted. Women, in particular, feel the sting. They spend 45% more time than men getting ready, averaging 67 minutes compared to 46, yet they are ghosted more often, five times a year compared to four for men.

Digital small talk can also eat away at time. Seventy-six percent of singles said they have spent more time messaging someone online than they spent on the actual date. Considering the average first date lasts about 105 minutes, that’s a lot of conversation for very little payoff and a clear reminder that emotional energy counts too.

Why Singles Are Stepping Back

After all the swiping, chatting, and getting ready, many singles are asking themselves a simple question: Is this still worth it?

The emotional math isn’t adding up for everyone. Sixty-one percent of users said the time commitment of dating makes them want to stop trying altogether. The same number admitted they feel emotionally drained after just one week of dating activity. Despite spending the least time on dating apps, Gen Z had the highest fatigue level at 64%.

Millennials are right behind them, with 62% saying the time demand alone makes them consider giving up on dating apps entirely. Half of all users said they now view dating apps as a waste of time, which helps explain why 75% took a break in the past year. Gen Z led the unplugging trend, with 76% of them opting out.

When asked to put a price on all the effort, singles said it would take an hourly wage of $42 to make modern dating feel worthwhile. The number might be tongue-in-cheek, but the sentiment behind it is clear. The search for love shouldn’t feel like unpaid overtime.

Reclaiming Time, Rediscovering Connection

Modern dating has started to feel like work. Between swiping, chatting, and getting ready, people are putting in hours and end up feeling more drained than delighted. Many are realizing that the search for love shouldn’t leave them feeling burned out. It should bring excitement, curiosity, and hope back into the process.

There’s a better way to date, one that feels more intentional and genuine. Working with a professional matchmaker allows singles to skip the endless scrolling and connect with people who truly fit their values and lifestyle. With the right guidance, dating becomes less about chance and more about genuine connection. Explore how Tawkify’s matchmakers help singles date smarter at Tawkify.com. 

Methodology

We surveyed 1,000 American singles to explore dating app usage habits. Of respondents, 79% have used dating apps in the past year, and only these respondents were included. Generationally, 37% were Gen Z, 49% were millennials,12% were Gen X, and 2% baby boomers. Overall, 49% were men, 49% were women, and 2% were non-binary. The study aimed to quantify time spent across different stages of the modern dating process, including digital habits, in-person dates, and emotional impact.

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