Tawkify Favorites

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

Holiday Mastery: Parry The Pushers

Become a master at gracefully refusing food and shifting relationship probing...

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email
Share on print

I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love the lights, the smell of cinnamon and pine, connecting with family and old friends, slowing down, taking well-deserved time away from the daily routine.


I hate the explosion of holiday goodies that suddenly appear everywhere — the cookie platter at my hair salon, the chocolate towers at the front door, the eggnog that tastes too good, the parties with tiny innocent-looking but dangerous cocktail franks, the way too creamy artichoke dip, and of course, the same question I heard last year… 

“Why are you still single?”

I’m a food and dating coach, but I’m not immune to these same holiday struggles. Navigating the festivities while maintaining weight (and sanity) in the midst of well-meaning friends/relatives offering their prized relationship advice is not for the hot-tempered, or faint-hearted. 

Throughout the season of indulgence, these same well-meaning friends and family members may also encourage us to indulge — it’s the holiday season, isn’t it?! You can probably hear their pleas already:

“C’mon … just one bite won’t kill you!”

“But I made this especially for you!”

“You can lose weight (and look for a man/woman) after the holidays!”

Tough situations call for tough discipline, which is further challenged after a couple sips of eggnog. To guarantee we come through the season with peace, joy and ease, I came up with a strategy to quell even our most nudging loved-ones.

For the food pushers, use these three little words. They work like holiday magic!


You might have murmured these three words in the past, but if you weren’t convincing enough to stop that huge slice of pumpkin cheesecake from being shoved in your face, it’s likely because you missed the most important element of effectiveness: your tone.

It’s all in the delivery. These three words delivered firmly and decisively, will do the trick. The second key component is to add a big smile as you say, “No, thank you.”

Practice saying it again and again. You will get better at it, and don’t forget that smile.

Now, let’s handle those relationship pushers.

Employ the same tone and smile in response to relationship pushers, and try saying: 

“I’m enjoying the holidays today and it’s so good to see you/I love your new haircut/did you catch that play on Broadway, etc…”

In short, re-route the pushers. 

Do not feel compelled to explain or justify your choices or current relationship status. Doing so removes boundaries, granting permission to the pushers to move-in, ask questions, and offer unsolicited advice.

As you perfect your new skills, you will become a master at gracefully refusing food and shifting relationship probing. You will walk away without guilt, regret, hard feelings, awkwardness, or discomfort. You’ll get through the holidays with ease and confidence, so you can truly enjoy a wonderful, joyful, and peaceful season.

Eat Date Love, 

Brigitte Weil, Tawkify Matchmaker, Chef + Founder, I Hate Celery Sticks
For more information on Brigitte, click here

Subscribe to
our newsletter

    Popular Posts

    5 Ways to Win An Argument In A Relationship

    It’s happened– your Springtime in Paris new relationship has hit a significant bump in the road. You’re feeling the urge to say something 180 degrees from “you’re just so perfect and amazing” to your new love interest. Congratulations– this is your first opportunity for a growth power-up!

    Quell the impulse to text “We need to talk.” If you’ve already typed it in, with your thumb hovering above “send,” aim for “delete” instead. No one wants to read that; no one wants to be forewarned of impending doom unless they’re watching a movie. You’ll only succeed in spurring the imminent arsenal of defense…

    Read More

    GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU AM: “Love Again” by Run The Jewels

    The other week, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who is a new father – we’ll call him Cronus – and we were talking about parental instinct. He lowered his voice conspiratorially, considered the infant in his lap and said, “Sometimes I love my baby so much that I want to eat him. Is that normal?” 

    Turns out, it’s not just normal–it’s science! Olfactory chemical signals–the smells of newborn babies have been linked to dopamine spikes in the brains of new mothers, essentially triggering the same neurological reward circuit activated when a very hungry person eats, or when a heroin addict shoots up…

    Read More

    5 Ways to Avoid the Cliff of Contemporary Dating

    I have a friend who dates online… a lot. You could say she’s popular. She gets out again and again because she’s fabulous–which is obvious, even through a screen. Yet she arrives each time preloaded with every personal detail about her date–their hometown, full legal name, and family history–often even their annual income and whether or not they rent or own. IT IS RIDICULOUS. The internet is a fantastic tool for writing a thesis, but should it be used to compose a 15-page, pre-introduction memoir on a potential romantic interest’s life story?…

    Read More