While every long distance relationship has its own set of unique circumstances, there are some rules all long distance paramours should apply. We’ve done the research, scoured the web, talked to experts, and have identified the primary indicators of success.
People in long distance relationships find success more often when…
1. They plan
Staying consistent (and having a plan) for phone calls, video calls, and “digital dates” is essential. If you’re serious about it working, there has to be a plan of contact (including in-person visits) that both parties are clear on and stick to. Consistency is key.
Digital dates can be fun and interactive, just like in-person dates. Try…
Listening to a jazz album over a video date. Make the same craft cocktail and enjoy them together while talking.
Calling each other in the AM to chat about your dreams from the night before.
Doing a FaceTime call while sharing a sunset or star gazing session.
Reading a book to each other.
2. They talk
Specifically, they talk about how they’re feeling, not just about how work was that day. The distance is tough and you’re feeling lonely — express that. You’re feeling insecure in the relationship because you haven’t been talking regularly — express that too. There is physical distance, but there doesn’t need to be emotional distance too.
3. There’s an agreed end to the distance
Multiple sources have declared the most important element to success is having a clear plan for how and when the distance will end.
“Long-distance relationships were meant to be temporary,” says author Kevin Darné. “The goal is to be with the person you love. Therefore, in order to maintain a long-distance relationship there has to be a ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ In other words, there must be a date established for when someone will be relocating to have a shot at lasting together. Without a light at the end of the tunnel it’s only natural for couples to drift apart. It’s the counting down of the months, weeks and days until one is finally done with the inconvenience of being in a long-distance relationship that keeps it strong.”
Valerie Presley Ackler