Sharing your feelings can build intimacy, but what happens when it crosses a line when dating? In today’s fast-paced dating culture, many singles are encountering a phenomenon known as “floodlighting,” where someone overshares emotionally early on in a relationship.
To explore how this dynamic is affecting modern romance, Tawkify surveyed over 1,000 Americans who are either actively dating or recently entered a new relationship. The findings reveal a shift in how vulnerability is perceived and highlight the fine line between emotional honesty and emotional overload.
There’s a lot of new lingo involved with modern dating. To better understand what’s going on, we’ve defined some common habits daters are currently experiencing:
More and more singles are running into early emotional intensity that feels like too much, too soon. Here’s who’s experiencing it and how to recognize the signs.
Floodlighting is just one part of a broader trend of intense early dating behaviors. In the past year alone, over half of daters encountered ghosting (53%), followed by breadcrumbing (47%), love bombing (38%), and trauma dumping (36%).
Millennials (57%) and Gen Z (56%) reported the highest rates of being ghosted among age groups. LGBTQ+ daters were especially affected, being much more likely than heterosexual daters to experience ghosting (72% vs. 48%) and trauma dumping (56% vs. 30%). Women were significantly more likely than men to report being love bombed (48% vs. 27%) or breadcrumbed (52% vs. 42%).
These experiences align with what people now identify as warning signs in early dating. The top behaviors considered red flags include cheating (81%), catfishing (78%), ghosting (76%), love bombing (64%), and trauma dumping (61%).
Nearly two in five Americans currently dating said they have experienced floodlighting on a date in the past year. The most common overshare was information about past partners (64%), with men being more likely than women to bring up an ex on a first date (68% vs. 55%).
When someone opened up too soon, daters most often reported feeling uncomfortable (44%), turned off (40%), or emotionally ambushed (34%) — especially women compared to men (39% vs. 29%). Some people (22%) felt emotionally obligated to continue the connection, including 25% of women and 19% of men, while others (21%) decided not to continue dating the person who overshared.
Among positive responses, 13% said sharing something deeply personal increased the emotional connection, and 11% felt flattered that the person was comfortable enough to open up to them. While it’s always good to proceed with caution when dating a new person, the motivations behind floodlighting may not always be negative ones.
Interestingly, motivations for floodlighting differed across groups and genders. Thirty-eight percent of men said they shared something vulnerable to foster closeness, compared to 26% of women. Men (45%) were also more likely than women (41%) to say they wanted to build a deep connection quickly.
Gen Z led all age groups in early emotional disclosures. They were most often motivated by a desire for honesty, with 55% finding that level of openness attractive. Others (39%) simply were lonely and needed someone to talk to.
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While vulnerability is often framed as a strength, when shared too soon, it can have the opposite effect.
When asked how emotional oversharing affects their perception of a potential partner, 38% of daters said it made them trust the person less, while only 27% said it helped build trust. That gap highlights how tricky it can be to gauge the right level of openness early on.
So, what does foster trust in the early stages of dating? The answer was clear: consistent communication. Seventy percent of respondents named it the top trust-building behavior, far outpacing emotional vulnerability (55%).
Men and women differ in how they define intimacy in early dating. More women than men said emotional sharing felt intimate on a first date (29% vs. 24%), while men were more likely to associate intimacy with physical touch (43% vs. 31%). Gen X was the most likely group to say physical touch on a first date felt more intimate than emotional sharing (45%). Gen Z (29%) was the most likely to say emotional sharing felt more intimate.
For many daters, emotional intensity early on feels less like bonding and more like being caught off guard.
Half of Americans said they’ve felt like a therapist while dating due to emotional oversharing, and for many, that role isn’t sustainable. More than half of daters (58%) said they reconsidered a connection because someone shared too much too soon, and 35% admitted to ghosting someone for it.
There’s a growing awareness around the need for emotional boundaries. Sixty-six percent of Americans said they support the idea of emotional consent, which means checking in with your listener before diving into heavy or personal topics. It’s an emerging standard for healthy connection that may help curb the impulse to unload early on.
Floodlighting is a growing part of the modern dating experience, and it’s sparking important conversations about emotional boundaries, vulnerability, and trust. While genuine openness can deepen a connection, oversharing too soon can do the opposite and make someone feel ambushed, uncomfortable, or emotionally burdened. As dating norms continue to evolve, more people are seeking not just authenticity but balance. Aim for a mix of honesty, respect, and pace that allows connection to unfold with mutual care.
In May 2025, we surveyed 1,014 people who were either single and actively dating or in a relationship that began within the past two years to explore the emotional dynamics of early romantic connections. Among respondents, 51% identified as women, 46% as men, and 2% as non-binary. The generational breakdown included 28% Gen Z, 50% millennials, 18% Gen X, and 3% baby boomers.
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