Emotional Oversharing Is Becoming a Major Red Flag in Modern Dating

Sharing your feelings can build intimacy, but what happens when it crosses a line when dating? In today’s fast-paced dating culture, many singles are encountering a phenomenon known as “floodlighting,” where someone overshares emotionally early on in a relationship.

To explore how this dynamic is affecting modern romance, Tawkify surveyed over 1,000 Americans who are either actively dating or recently entered a new relationship. The findings reveal a shift in how vulnerability is perceived and highlight the fine line between emotional honesty and emotional overload.

Key Takeaways

• Nearly 2 in 5 Americans currently dating said they’ve experienced floodlighting in the past year.
• The most common floodlighting revelation was about an ex (64%), with 68% of men admitting to talking about an ex on a first date, compared to 55% of women.
• 38% of men said they shared something vulnerable to make the other person feel close to them, compared to 26% of women.
• Emotional oversharing can backfire: 38% of daters said it decreased their trust in someone, which is more than the 27% who said it increased it.
• The top trust-builder in early dating isn’t emotional vulnerability — it’s consistent communication (70%).
• Over half (58%) have reconsidered a romantic connection after someone shared too much too soon, while 35% admitted to ghosting someone for it.

How Common Is Floodlighting

There’s a lot of new lingo involved with modern dating. To better understand what’s going on, we’ve defined some common habits daters are currently experiencing:

• Floodlighting: In the context of dating, floodlighting refers to the act of sharing an excessive amount of personal and often highly emotional information too early in a relationship, before a foundation of trust and intimacy has been established.
• Breadcrumbing: Sending occasional messages or flirting to keep someone interested without committing.
• Love bombing: Showering someone with affection, attention, or promises early on to gain control or commitment.
• Trauma dumping: Releasing intense personal trauma onto someone without warning or consent.
  
• Benchwarming: Keeping someone “on the bench” as a backup option while pursuing others.
  
• Catfishing: Pretending to be someone else online, typically using fake photos or a false identity.

More and more singles are running into early emotional intensity that feels like too much, too soon. Here’s who’s experiencing it and how to recognize the signs.

Floodlighting is just one part of a broader trend of intense early dating behaviors. In the past year alone, over half of daters encountered ghosting (53%), followed by breadcrumbing (47%), love bombing (38%), and trauma dumping (36%).

Millennials (57%) and Gen Z (56%) reported the highest rates of being ghosted among age groups. LGBTQ+ daters were especially affected, being much more likely than heterosexual daters to experience ghosting (72% vs. 48%) and trauma dumping (56% vs. 30%). Women were significantly more likely than men to report being love bombed (48% vs. 27%) or breadcrumbed (52% vs. 42%). 

These experiences align with what people now identify as warning signs in early dating. The top behaviors considered red flags include cheating (81%), catfishing (78%), ghosting (76%), love bombing (64%), and trauma dumping (61%).

Nearly two in five Americans currently dating said they have experienced floodlighting on a date in the past year. The most common overshare was information about past partners (64%), with men being more likely than women to bring up an ex on a first date (68% vs. 55%).

When someone opened up too soon, daters most often reported feeling uncomfortable (44%), turned off (40%), or emotionally ambushed (34%) — especially women compared to men (39% vs. 29%). Some people (22%) felt emotionally obligated to continue the connection, including 25% of women and 19% of men, while others (21%) decided not to continue dating the person who overshared.

Among positive responses, 13% said sharing something deeply personal increased the emotional connection, and 11% felt flattered that the person was comfortable enough to open up to them. While it’s always good to proceed with caution when dating a new person, the motivations behind floodlighting may not always be negative ones.

Interestingly, motivations for floodlighting differed across groups and genders. Thirty-eight percent of men said they shared something vulnerable to foster closeness, compared to 26% of women. Men (45%) were also more likely than women (41%) to say they wanted to build a deep connection quickly.

Gen Z led all age groups in early emotional disclosures. They were most often motivated by a desire for honesty, with 55% finding that level of openness attractive. Others (39%) simply were lonely and needed someone to talk to.

Is Oversharing a Trust Builder or Breaker?

While vulnerability is often framed as a strength, when shared too soon, it can have the opposite effect.

When asked how emotional oversharing affects their perception of a potential partner, 38% of daters said it made them trust the person less, while only 27% said it helped build trust. That gap highlights how tricky it can be to gauge the right level of openness early on.

So, what does foster trust in the early stages of dating? The answer was clear: consistent communication. Seventy percent of respondents named it the top trust-building behavior, far outpacing emotional vulnerability (55%).

Men and women differ in how they define intimacy in early dating. More women than men said emotional sharing felt intimate on a first date (29% vs. 24%), while men were more likely to associate intimacy with physical touch (43% vs. 31%). Gen X was the most likely group to say physical touch on a first date felt more intimate than emotional sharing (45%). Gen Z (29%) was the most likely to say emotional sharing felt more intimate.

Emotional Oversharing or Control Tactic?

For many daters, emotional intensity early on feels less like bonding and more like being caught off guard.

Half of Americans said they’ve felt like a therapist while dating due to emotional oversharing, and for many, that role isn’t sustainable. More than half of daters (58%) said they reconsidered a connection because someone shared too much too soon, and 35% admitted to ghosting someone for it.

There’s a growing awareness around the need for emotional boundaries. Sixty-six percent of Americans said they support the idea of emotional consent, which means checking in with your listener before diving into heavy or personal topics. It’s an emerging standard for healthy connection that may help curb the impulse to unload early on.

Floodlighting in Action

Floodlighting is a growing part of the modern dating experience, and it’s sparking important conversations about emotional boundaries, vulnerability, and trust. While genuine openness can deepen a connection, oversharing too soon can do the opposite and make someone feel ambushed, uncomfortable, or emotionally burdened. As dating norms continue to evolve, more people are seeking not just authenticity but balance. Aim for a mix of honesty, respect, and pace that allows connection to unfold with mutual care.

Methodology

In May 2025, we surveyed 1,014 people who were either single and actively dating or in a relationship that began within the past two years to explore the emotional dynamics of early romantic connections. Among respondents, 51% identified as women, 46% as men, and 2% as non-binary. The generational breakdown included 28% Gen Z, 50% millennials, 18% Gen X, and 3% baby boomers.

About Tawkify

Tawkify is a modern matchmaking service that pairs clients through a personalized, human-guided approach. Instead of relying on algorithms, Tawkify matchmakers take the time to understand each client’s values, lifestyle, and relationship goals. With thousands of success stories, Tawkify is redefining how people find meaningful connections.

Fair Use Statement

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