What is Slow Dating and Why Is It Beneficial?
When it comes to dating, does it feel like everything is on fast-forward? Maybe you’re finding yourself swiping through 30 profiles a minute and scheduling multiple dates in one weekend. Or perhaps you recently got hot and heavy with someone, only to break up just two weeks after meeting each other.
If these scenarios ring true to you, it’s not your fault. You’re just a product of a society that’s on the fast track toward getting married and settling down. However, that doesn’t mean you have to settle for fast dating and over-before-you-know-it relationships.
If you’re looking to take it easy and have more meaningful connections with those you meet, you might want to consider slow dating. In our guide below, we discuss everything you need to know about slow dating and fostering a slow-burn relationship.
What is Slow Dating?
So, what exactly is slow dating anyway? Well, as its name implies, it’s an approach to dating that involves taking things down a notch. It means forgetting about arbitrary timelines and that unnecessary urge to race to the alter and slowing down enough to enjoy the process of dating.
Slow dating is sometimes used to describe the stage in dating when you’re still looking for a match, but it also refers to those early days in a relationship when you’re getting to know your partner. In both cases, the concept of slow dating encourages you to be more mindful and intentional instead of rushing into things.
How can you incorporate slow dating into your own life? Deciding to start taking it slow is the first step! Check out the following tips for advice on how to practice slow dating.
Ways to Practice Slow Dating
Ready to start taking it slow? The following are just a few ways you can incorporate aspects of slow dating into your love life. And because slow dating can refer to the process of finding a match and getting to know someone in the early stages of a relationship, our advice covers both areas.
Focus on Intention
When it comes to finding love, it’s easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of it all. Maybe you’re feverously swiping left and right on the dating apps or falling hard for the person you just met, and all those emotions can make it feel like you’re putting the pedal to the metal. And as your foot’s on the accelerator, your intentions are likely flying out the window, along with your inhibitions.
A big part of slow dating involves dating with intention. This means keeping your finger on the pulse and remembering who and what you want from a relationship. However, if you’re dating at full speed, it’s easy to forget about your relationship goals, allowing you to make exceptions in ways you wouldn’t ordinarily if you were taking your time. In order to master slow dating, you must be deliberate about all your decisions and make them without haste.
Cool It with the Dating Apps
Do you obsessively check your DMs, eagerly respond within seconds of making a match, and swipe any chance you get? If so, these are classic examples of fast dating, and it may be time to distance yourself from the dating apps for a bit.
Break the addiction and look into alternatives to dating apps. Ask your friends if they know any singles who you might be compatible with, attend that singles meet-up in your neighborhood, and hit up that party your sister is hosting next weekend. Getting out there and introducing yourself to people in real life will help you slow down, make stronger connections with those you meet, and maybe even lead to a match IRL.
Try Mindful Swiping
Not ready to ditch the dating apps? Then, try an approach called mindful swiping as a means to slow dating. This involves designating certain times dedicated to swiping, giving it the time and effort it deserves. So, instead of swiping a mile a minute, slow down and read each profile, review the photos, and reflect on how each person aligns with your goals and preferences. Swiping in a slower, more intentional manner allows you to fully digest each profile and determine how it stacks up against your wants and needs.
Hire a Matchmaker
If you’re ready to turn off the speedometer, you may want to look into hiring a professional matchmaker. After all, matchmakers are not about providing fast results but rather quality results. They’ll be the first to tell you that finding true love takes time, but they have the skills, expertise, tools, and technology to help make it happen.
Open to taking it slow? If so, meet with a professional matchmaker at Tawkify, and they’ll spend time getting to know you and your dating preferences. With the help of AI-driven algorithms, they’ll narrow down appropriate candidates and screen each one, only introducing you to those who they believe could be the perfect match. As long as you’re willing to take it easy and trust the process, this style of dating can be extremely rewarding.
Look Beyond the Physical
If you’re only focused on the physical attributes of your potential matches, you’re going to find it challenging to practice slow dating.
For starters, if you’re on the dating apps, meeting with a matchmaker, or even going to mixers for singles with the sole intention of finding an attractive person to date, you’re likely rushing through the candidates and missing out on a whole pool of potential matches. We know we don’t need to tell you that looks aren’t everything, but you’re probably not going to find this style of dating to be very fulfilling.
And the same goes for if you’re already dating someone solely for their looks. Slow dating involves taking the time to connect with this person on a deeper level, but when you’re only in it for their looks or sexual attraction, embracing a slow-burn relationship attitude is going to be tricky.
Reflect on What’s Making Your Rush
Sure, we live in a quick-paced world, but that might not be the only thing contributing to the lightning-fast speed of your dating record. Take some time to reflect on the reason why you might be so inclined to rush through the dating process.
Do you feel pressured to settle down and start a family? Are all your friends already married? Or are you past the age when your parents met? All of these factors are legitimate reasons for feeling like you need to get into a serious relationship pronto, but do they hold enough weight to interfere with your chances of finding true love?
Try to put things into perspective and realize that speed dating isn’t necessarily going to get you any closer to finding an ideal match. In fact, it could wind up slowing down your chances if you’re not making thoughtful choices.
Put Your Needs First
Sometimes, you’ve got to be selfish in a relationship, particularly in the early stages. If you’ve just started dating someone and want to build a slow-burn relationship, it’s important to remind yourself of who you are and what you want.
For instance, if you’ve decided you don’t want to be intimate for the first X number of dates, stay true to that. Don’t get caught up in the excitement or feel pressured into speeding up your own timeline.
Celebrate Little Milestones
Do you immediately rush into a relationship, get intimate, and start planning a future together after only one date? If so, try coming up for air and celebrating little milestones to help foster a slow-burn relationship. This involves taking note of the little passages of time, even if they’re otherwise considered silly or arbitrary.
For example, celebrate the one-week anniversary of your first kiss with a romantic dinner, or ring in the one-month anniversary of your first date with a cozy movie night at home. Acknowledging these otherwise overlooked milestones in your relationship can help you realize how fast time goes by and appreciate the little things along the way.
