Everybody everywhere spends time searching for someone who ticks all their boxes, who makes them feel good, who even impresses their friends or family. But are they spending enough time looking for the characteristics that are most important for a meaningful relationship?
Find out the qualities of a good man so that your search for an ideal partner doesn’t come up short. From trustworthiness to being a good listener, we’ve listed all the things you should look for in a guy.
1. He Should Be Trustworthy
One of the top qualities of a good man is trustworthiness—because without it, any relationship will stand on rocky ground.
Trust is knowing that someone is who they say they are, does what they say they’ll do, and is honest about mistakes. Basically, they talk the talk and walk the walk.
You shouldn’t have to constantly wonder about their whereabouts or if they’re telling the truth. A trustworthy man will show and tell you that they can be trusted. He shouldn’t keep you guessing.
2. And He Should Trust You
Trust isn’t just about being trustworthy; it’s also about trusting other people. An ideal partner will trust you implicitly. What does that mean exactly? For starters, a man shouldn’t check in with you frequently while you’re at work or out with friends or on a trip (basically, any place where he isn’t). While check-ins are completely normal, you don’t want to be with someone who nags about your whereabouts. In other words, he should have a secure attachment style.
A guy who trusts you will also support your independence. He should allow you to keep pursuing your interests while you’re together instead of clipping your wings when you want to fly.
3. He Should Be Confident Yet Humble
Another of the top qualities of a good man is confidence. It can be heartbreaking to be with someone who talks negatively about themselves or beats themselves down time and time again. This lack of confidence can take a toll on any relationship. So try to seek out a man who holds himself high and is secure in who he is. Chances are that his confidence will even rub off on you.
However, a man shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions, be challenged by you and others, own up to his shortcomings, and recognize that other people have strengths that he might not have. A confident man can also be a humble man, and that sweet spot is what you should look for.
4. He Should Listen
A man who listens is a man worth keeping around. In your dating life, you’ve probably encountered men who can’t seem to hear anything but their own voice, their own interests, their own needs. In your search of what to look for in a guy, add “be a good listener” to the top of your list.
The man you seek out should listen to your thoughts and perspectives, really hear you when you voice a concern, and not check out when you challenge any of his preconceived beliefs. But part of listening is also taking action. For example, when you tell him that your love language is quality time, he hears you and plans a night next week for it to be just the two of you. Or perhaps you want to sit down and discuss your relationship goals and values; he should be open to hearing your relationship values and sharing his own, then working to find a happy medium.
The art of listening can be challenging, of course, but it also helps to create deeper intimacy and trust in a relationship.
5. He Should Be Okay With Getting Vulnerable
All too often men are told (whether explicitly or through social or cultural messaging) that they need to be tough, strong, unwavering, and so on and so forth. But you know what makes a man tough and strong? Being able to get vulnerable and tap into his own emotions. These are qualities of a good man.
A good man should be able to recognize his weaknesses, voice his fears, and talk about things that might be difficult to discuss. He shouldn’t be afraid to let you and other people into his world of thoughts and emotions. Vulnerability is one of the best qualities of a good partner because this skill (and yes, it is a skill—vulnerability takes work!) can foster trust, honesty, intimacy, and overall stronger relationships.
6. He Should Be Reliable
If you’re looking for marriage material, look for a man who is reliable. In a long-term partnership, you want to be able to count on the other person to be a constant in your life. After all, life has its ups and downs, and consistency with your partner is key to navigating them.
A reliable man means that he’s there for you in the joys as well as the losses, he provides a safe space for emotional vulnerability, he follows through with what he says he’ll do (even if it’s just picking up groceries at the end of the day), and he communicates when there are changes to a plan.
7. He Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Have Fun
When you’re considering the qualities of a good man, don’t overlook the beauty of someone who isn’t afraid to have fun. Find a man who doesn’t take himself too seriously. Yes, he can be driven, goal-oriented, assertive, or any other assortment of slightly more serious traits, but he should be able to get silly sometimes, go on a crazy adventure, sing at the top of his lungs, or get you to do these things.
Couples who have fun and let loose together can not only create wonderful memories but also develop shared interests. Maybe that impromptu square-dancing night turned into a monthly date. Seeing each other’s silly sides can draw you closer to each other and help you accept and celebrate the other person for who they are (hint: that’s one of the signs of compatibility).
8. He Should Be Kind
What makes a good man? Kindness.
We’re not talking about someone who is nice. A kind man isn’t just pleasant and polite on the outside. He goes beyond societal niceties and treats people with empathy, compassion, and respect. If you’re unsure how to note the difference between a nice versus a kind man, ask yourself these questions:
- Does his kindness extend to people he doesn’t know?
- How does he talk about his parents, his siblings, his friends, or even an ex when they’re not around?
- If someone messes up, is he quick to judge or does he try to understand and help them?
- Is he sincere in his good deeds?
Kindness is what to look for in a guy and something that you should always seek when you’re ready to settle down with someone—because this characteristic will positively impact every part of his life.
When you’re ready to find your person, make sure to look for these top qualities of a good man.