What Attracts a Man: 8 Secrets to Irresistible Appeal

Ever wondered how to capture the attention of your love interest? From batting an eye to wondering how to present yourself, it can be difficult to know how to attract a man. 

But the rules of attraction don’t have to be complex. Want to know the not-so-secret secrets to landing a great guy? Read on to find out.

Be Confident

Nothing is more attractive than confidence. While physical attraction definitely plays a part in who people decide to pursue, confidence over looks always (eventually) wins.

If you love yourself, it shows. And men can see that! Good men will be drawn to women who feel secure in who they are, who fulfill their own needs, and who have a peace about themselves—whether that’s about where they are in life or acceptance and confidence in their personality or their lifestyle (or all of the above!). 

Confidence is attractive because it draws people in. So remember to always hold yourself in high esteem as you navigate the dating world.

Remember Your Body Language

If you want to attract a man, let your body do the talking. Okay, not the whole time, but make sure that your body language communicates interest. Here’s how to do it:

• Make eye contact. Eye contact is one of the best ways to get anyone’s attention. So if you’re in a bar, on the subway, or anywhere else that you see a guy that piques your interest, start by looking over at him every minute or so. Once you’ve captured his attention, see if you can make sustained eye contact. If he returns the gesture, that’s one of the telltale signs of chemistry.
• Smile. Smiling is infectious, but it’s also attractive. You don’t necessarily need to perpetuate the expectation of women needing to smile to be polite, but throw one in every now and then so they can see your radiance.
• Show interest. What attracts men to women? Feeling like they’re the only ones in your orbit. And the same goes for any romantic interest, for that matter! No one wants to feel like they’re talking to someone who’s checked out. Show a man that you’re interested by positioning your body toward him and leaning in. Chances are that he’ll do the same.

Be Surprising

Spontaneity is the spice of life (and of your romantic life, too). One way to attract a man and set yourself apart from other people he has dated is by surprising him. 

Plan unique, adventurous dates that involve a challenge or conquering a fear. This is both of your chances to see a new side of each other. He’ll be impressed not only by your date brainstorming abilities but also by your willingness to try something new. 

If you’re meeting a man for the first (or fifth) time, keep things interesting by asking out-of-the-box questions. First-date conversation starters—like “What brings you the most joy in life?”—will make him feel like you’re truly interested in getting to know him and putting in the effort to branch out from the typical first-date chitchat. This is also a great method for when you want to know how to attract a man emotionally because you’ll also be able to share intriguing tidbits about yourself, making him want to know more.

Look Your Best

When talking about what attracts men to women, we’d be remiss if we didn’t include physical appearance. 

But looking your best doesn’t necessarily mean altering your body to fit society’s standards for beauty. It just means presenting yourself in the way that makes you feel like you. Attract a man that fits your personality, aesthetic, and lifestyle by being yourself and wearing your true colors every day. And that means dressing in the style that you feel good in.

But you should also ensure that you’re dressing to impress. Even if casualwear is more your thing, make sure that you still look put together. Your partner or date wants to feel that you’re putting in the effort. 

Speak Up 

Part of attracting a man or any partner is making sure you’re attracting the right person for you, whether you’re looking for a casual dating experience or a long-term relationship. 

Speak up about your standards, voice your priorities and preferences, and talk about your deal-breakers. Expressing your inner thoughts, feelings, and preferences shows that you’re a strong woman and will put you on the road to understanding how to attract a good man—not just any man. 

Don’t Play Games

Playfulness is good, but playing hard to get—not so much.

When you want to attract a man, it’s important to show that you’re interested and available. While flirting and being coy can add to the romantic fun, acting hot and cold, taking forever to text back, not returning calls, and being cagey about making plans can make a potential partner confused. If a man is unsure of your intentions, chances are that he’ll move on. 

Set Aside the Old Rules

Dating isn’t the same as it used to be. In many ways, it’s changed for the better by allowing for more open ideas about what dating and relationships actually mean to different people. Part of that is deconstructing the old standards of dating. 

Women can show their confidence in dating by forgetting the “do’s and don’ts”: 

• Offer to pay for dinner or drinks, or at least for your half
• Approach him or ask for his number first
• Don’t wait for him to text or call first

In any relationship, it’s important to put in the effort and meet the other person halfway. Take initiative and don’t wait around to get what you want. 

Be Authentic

Finally, when you want to attract a man who will love you for who you are, remember to be yourself. 
Authenticity is the name of the relationship game. If they don’t like you for you, move on. It’s more important to love yourself than to pursue and be with a man who wants to change certain things about you. There’s no better foundation for a healthy relationship than respect, communication, and authenticity.