Myths & Misconceptions about Modern Matchmaking Debunked

Love-seeking has never been easy, and although things have changed, it’s not gotten much easier. Online dating platforms have become the obvious norm, offering a smorgasbord of potential partners with a mere swipe of your finger. This has been great news for almost all of us, but perhaps especially especially as these apps have been instrumental for people in marginalized communities who may not have always had the same access to appropriate dating pools.

Despite the ease and convenience, though, not to mention our being spoiled for choice–with tons of app options out there–many individuals still find themselves struggling to find meaningful connections as they traverse the world of online dating. Amidst the rise of hookup culture, the superficiality of online interactions, as well as recent studies on the negative relationship between using dating apps and mental health, a more “traditional” approach to matchmaking has reemerged. This time, aided by tech, and finished with a human touch, offering a personalized and curated path to finding love. That’s what we do here, and we’re proud of it.

Professional matchmaking services like Tawkify, often a bit misunderstood, provide an alternative to dating apps that can be awesomely refreshing. We have a track record of real success, but the way this works may not be the most obvious to everyone. In fact, there are some serious misconceptions and myths about matchmaking. 

Hiring a matchmaker, despite what some may think, is almost never about desperation or a lack of options–instead, it’s a conscious decision to invest in your own happiness and seek guidance from experts in the field of human connection. So, if you’re flirting with the idea to date with intention and wondering “is matchmaking worth it,” you’ve come to the right place for info. Let’s dig in. 

Myth 1: Matchmaking is only for the wealthy and elite.

Yes–it’s true that some matchmaking services cater to an affluent clientele, but the industry is far more diverse than this stereotype suggests. For this reason, Tawkify offers a number of options to fit most budgets. It’s true that paying a little more affords more resources to our clients, which we’re happy to provide. But that’s not the whole story. We also know, and try to communicate as clearly as possible before sending you out on dates, that our clients’ level of monetary investment does not directly correlate to how serious they are about finding love.

Myth 2: Matchmakers are like ‘love gurus’ who have magical powers to find your soulmate.

While matchmakers are undoubtedly experts in human behavior and relationship dynamics, and some of the most emotionally intelligent colleagues I’ve ever worked with, there’s no perfect science or superpowers up our sleeve to predict perfect matches. Instead, our and your success lies in our ability to carefully assess our client’s individual needs, values, and compatibility factors, using this information to curate a pool of potential partners with a high likelihood of shared aspirations and genuine connection.

Myth 3: Matchmaking is outdated in the age of online dating.

Instant gratification and fleeting connections are the name of the game these days. Modern matchmaking is a more personalized approach, and it’s supercharged by a robust network of candidates, technology, and collaboration of matchmaker cohorts. The time and effort invested by matchmakers in understanding each client’s unique personality and relationship goals simply set them apart from the impersonal algorithms and superficial profiles found on online dating platforms. And, beyond the basics, like identity confirmation and thorough screenings, we’re also vetting not just for compatibility values and lifestyle, but also seriousness of intent. There are no fake profiles. There are no games being played.

Myth 4: Matchmaking is a questionable business model.

A lot of dating apps really need you hooked and scrolling to get paid. We don’t. Myths about matchmaking might include an idea of “turn and burn,” which is categorically false. Matchmakers love their work and we believe in love, but we’re also financially incentivized to create reciprocally interested matches. You’ll never get sent out with someone with whom we don’t truly think there’s real potential, and we discern that by real screenings–face to face–with your matches. 

Myth 5: Matchmaking is only for the socially awkward, or those who can’t get dates on their own. 

Ten years ago, there was a ton of stigma around meeting people online. There was an assumption that relying on new digital platforms somehow signaled that people were incapable of meeting others in more organic settings. Fast forward to today, where the bulk of our lives are online, and that’s not remotely a question. Similar views were also once cast on talk therapy, and we’ve definitely made progress there, too. For busy professionals, or those simply tired of the endless swiping, matchmakers offer the opportunity for a more bespoke and targeted dating experience. We believe seeking expert assistance where you need it, as well as trying a new experience, can only bring you further insight and perspective.

Myth 6: Matchmaking is something only seen on TV shows and movies. 

There is a ton of entertainment out there–dating games, curated marriage-focused matchmaking for the elite, and even competitions with elimination rounds. We watch these shows too! Like romance novels and high-stakes, dramatic reality TV, they’re designed to grab our attention and keep us interested. We’re proud and relieved to tell you, though, that real life matchmaking is much more grounded.

The benefits of hiring a matchmaker extend far beyond simply finding a compatible partner. We provide a safe and confidential space to explore relationship goals, address personal challenges, and develop effective communication skills. When given the green flag, we also ask difficult questions, and we endeavor to identify personal obstacles that have gotten in our clients’ way. We’re not therapists (though we believe in therapy, too!) but we are listening, and can often offer advice on how you might overcome things you’ve identified in the way of finding your person.

We’re companions on this journey, and our guidance extends far beyond the initial introduction, offering support and mentorship throughout your dating journey.