Dating with Intention—It’s Time to Stop and Get Serious

A lot of terms get thrown around in the modern dating world, and one that’s recently been going around is the concept of “dating with intention.” Whether you heard it referenced in a podcast or the term is entirely new to you, we’re here to unpack it all for you. 

First, let’s start with the basics. What is the meaning of dating with intention? Intentional dating refers to going into the dating scene with a better understanding of who, how, and why you want to date. It involves reflecting on your wants and needs and being more mindful about the choices you make. Instead of just showing up and hoping your relationship will go a certain way, dating with purpose invites you to clarify your values and define the direction you want to take. 

How exactly do you date with intention, though? We’re glad you asked. In our guide below, we provide some helpful tips for dating with purpose and being intentional in your relationships.

Figure Out What You Want (and Don’t Want)

The first step toward dating intentionally involves sorting out your own wants and needs. Take some time to reflect on what you truly want from life. Begin by removing any potential partners from the equation and simply focusing on yourself. 

What makes you smile? What makes you radiate joy? And what motivates you to get out of bed each morning? As you explore the answers to these questions, think about how that factors into your life goals. And then, consider how those goals might play into your relationship or the kind of person you’d like to date. 

For example, maybe you’re passionate about travel and want to spend your free time exploring five new countries every year. In this case, you may look for a partner who shares your love of travel and has a job that allows them to take time off (and afford) to jet set. In the same vein, you might determine you’d feel stifled or grounded by someone who never leaves their hometown because you’d be compromising your goal of traveling the world.

You see, the more you understand about yourself, the more mindful you’ll be of whether a potential partner enhances or hinders you. After all, you deserve to be with someone who expands you, allowing you to be the best version of yourself rather than holding you back. 

Reflect on Your Core Values

What do you stand for? And what drives your decisions? Your core values are essentially your moral compass, helping you navigate through life and make decisions regarding every aspect of your life, from your career to your relationships. Understanding what values you prioritize can help you with dating with intention. 

For instance, when it comes to your core values, you may emphasize trust, compassion, and reliability. You pride yourself on being true to those aspects, and you’ll therefore need a partner who appreciates and values those elements, too. 

With this in mind, you can begin making relationship intentions, such as, “Because I value trust, I am seeking a partner who is honest and authentic,” or “I value compassion and need a partner who is empathic and sensitive to my needs,” or “I value reliability, so I am seeking a dependable partner who I can count on.”

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them 

Setting boundaries help you determine what you’re willing (and not willing) to tolerate in a relationship. Boundaries give you the ability to say “no” and get you off the hook in certain situations, especially if you’re prone to people-pleasing. When you know your limits, you can show up more authentically in your relationships and focus on dating with intention. 

For instance, your boundaries in relationships might revolve around some level of independence. In this case, in order for you to flourish in a relationship, you might need the freedom to have alone time, where you can reflect, relax, and recharge on your own. Because of this, someone who is smothering, obsessive, controlling, or clingy is going to very quickly test your limits. If you let your partner disregard your boundaries of independence, you’re not honoring or respecting yourself or the limitations you’ve set. 

Another boundary could involve mutual respect, meaning you won’t tolerate a partner who speaks down to you, uses a degrading tone with you, or refuses to see you as an equal in the relationship. On the contrary, you need a partner who is kind, thoughtful, and considerate of you, your feelings, and your opinions. 

Above all, it’s up to you to uphold and maintain your boundaries, but if they’re being crossed in your relationship, it may be time to reconsider whether that relationship is serving you. Because if you’ve lost control over your boundaries, you’ve probably set your intention aside. 

Be Upfront

Once you narrow down what you’re looking for in a partner and a relationship, be open and upfront about it. Remember, you’ve put all that time into figuring out what you want and need, so now’s not the time to shy away from proclaiming it.

If you’re on a first date, don’t be afraid to say you want kids, or if you’re chatting with someone on an online dating app, be honest about how you’re looking to settle down and get married. After all, what’s the sense of dating someone who doesn’t want to raise a family or who’s only looking for a summer fling if that goes against your intentions? 

Instead, speak freely about what’s important to you in a relationship and encourage them to do the same. 

Focus on Honest Communication

Part of being open and upfront involves honestly communicating with one another. And sometimes, this means having difficult conversations. Sure, talking about finances on the first date might be the sexiest of topics, but if that’s an important aspect of your relationship goals and intentions, then put it all out on the table. 

Being intentional in a relationship means opening up about the stuff that could potentially impact your future together. Don’t interrogate your date, but consider asking some questions that will help determine if you’re compatible and on the same page. 

Be True To Yourself

There’s a time and a place for compromise, but when it comes to being true to yourself, there’s no room for negotiation. Once you’ve determined the path you want to take, don’t falter or sway under pressure. Own who you are and be authentic regardless of how they may perceive you. 

For example, maybe you’re noticing signs of chemistry between you and a guy who is hell-bent on being a forever bachelor while you’ve determined that getting married is actually really important to you. Just because he seems like a catch doesn’t mean you should throw away your dreams of getting hitched to date him. As difficult as it may be, a big part of intentional dating involves knowing when to give dating a chance and when to walk away. 

That said, you’re allowed to change your mind and reconsider the intentions you’ve set for yourself, but be sure to do that on your own terms and not in spite of someone else. 

The Takeaway

Once you determine your relationship intentions, you may find that dating feels easier and more engaging. Instead of just diving blindly into a relationship, you’ll have a better grasp on the direction you want to take and the criteria that meets your needs. However, if you feel like you’re experiencing dating fatigue or no longer enjoying yourself, take a break, recalibrate, and then get back out there when you’re ready. 

16 Common Dating Acronyms / Abbreviations – What They Mean

From LDR to PDA to IRL, the increasingly complex and, shall we say, confusing world of dating acronyms never seems to calm down. Just when you thought you knew almost all of them, more pop up and you find yourself going down Internet rabbit trails trying to define three little letters. And if you’re not a member of younger generations, you might feel like you’re left behind when trying to decipher what all of these acronyms mean. We get it! 

But these modern dating abbreviations are here to stay, so it’s time that you get comfortable with them. Read on for a list of common dating acronyms that you might encounter in your dating journey (we challenge you to use one in your next text or online message!). 

DTR

Define the Relationship

This is a super common dating term that’s been around for awhile. You’ll often hear it in the context of conversations with friends, like “Have you two had a DTR yet?” But you also might use this dating term if you’re unsure of where you stand with your significant other. Have you been seeing each other for a while without any movement toward naming the relationship? Then, you might text them that you want to have a DTR to be clear on where things are going.

FWB

Friends With Benefits

A common dating abbreviation that’s been around for years, FWB is another way of saying that you’re having a casual relationship that includes sex—without any strings attached. Maybe you’ve been friends with this person for a while or perhaps you just met. No matter how long you’ve known them, the emphasis on physical intimacy without the commitment commonly needed for a serious relationship is key for FWB.

IRL

In Real Life

You’ve probably heard and seen this modern dating acronym a lot in your dating journey. Perhaps the person you’ve been texting finally sends you a message that reads, “I think we should meet IRL.” Those three letters can signify a turning point in your new, casual dating relationship. 

But IRL is also used in non-dating communication and on social channels as a way to describe the difference between everyday life and your digital environment.

ONS

One-Night Stand

An ONS is a sexual encounter that only lasts for—you guessed it—one night. This dating term can have a negative connotation, depending on if one partner wanted an ONS and the other wanted something to continue afterward. But it all comes down to preference. Just make sure that you communicate with the other person after a sexual encounter if you’d prefer it to be an ONS; being ghosted is difficult to navigate, so let them know your intentions before ending communication.

DM

Direct Message

Social media introduced us to the DM—and it has never looked back. If you’ve ever heard someone describe how they met their significant other with the dating slang, “They slid into my DMs,” that means that the person sent them a DM on social media (like Instagram or TikTok) with the intention of sparking a romantic connection.

ENM

Ethically Non-Monogamous

This dating acronym is typically used on dating apps and online dating sites as a way to signify the type of relationship that people desire. ENM means that someone is ok with pursuing, or wants to pursue, other romantic relationships in addition to the one they have with you. The key word in this case is “ethically,” which tells you that the person wants to get the consent of all involved.

GGG

Good, Giving, and Game

Typically seen on dating apps, GGG refers to someone’s status as a sex partner. We don’t really need to go into specifics here, but basically, if you’re looking to have a little fun in your sex life, look for profiles that have GGG (or add it to your own).

NSA

No Strings Attached

Related to dating, NSA means that romantic partners can be together and enjoy physical intimacy without putting restrictions on the relationship. This could mean that they pursue sexual connections with other people or that they don’t fill the “committed partner” roles. 

VBD

Very Bad Date

When you’re dating, texting your friends or family after (or during!) the date is common to let them know how it went or how it’s going. If you text VBD to your roommate, they know to a) either make the “emergency” call so you can skedaddle or b) be prepared with a listening ear and a bucket of popcorn when you get home. 

HAK (or H&K)

Hugs and Kisses

Remember when you used to write “HAGS” in your friends’ middle school yearbooks? Well, this is a cuter way to sign off on messages to someone you’re seeing. If you’re not quite to the point of saying “I love you,” throw in a HAK at the end of your message to let your significant other know that you care (and that you love dating acronyms).

ISO

In Search Of

If you see ISO used on someone’s dating app or online dating site profile, it’s usually followed by specific traits or qualities that they’re looking for in a potential partner. While ISO originally started its acronym journey with online ads (like on Craigslist), it’s now a commonly used dating slang.

LDR

Long-Distance Relationship

This dating abbreviation is pretty self-explanatory, but it means that romantic partners are dating while living in two separate places, usually quite far apart. 

PDA

Public Display of Affection

PDA in a relationship involves any type of physical touch or intimacy, like kissing, handholding, hugging, and more. Some people are okay with a lot of PDA, while others might only feel comfortable with holding hands in public. Talk with your partner about what level of PDA is good for your relationship.

NMNK

Never Married, No Kids

NMNK is a dating acronym that quickly communicates your current situation over text, in an app, or online. There are lots of acronyms like this out there, including those for pronouns and dating. 

SO

Significant Other

This handy piece of dating slang is a great way to shorten a long-ish phrase for referring to your partner. Plus, it’s a great acronym to use when you’re not quite sure where you stand with the person; instead of using “boyfriend, girlfriend, or person I’m seeing romantically,” just say “SO.” Easy peasy.

AML

All My Love

Similar to HAK, AML is a nice way to communicate your like or love for the person you’re talking to. But this isn’t only a dating abbreviation—you can even sign off on texts to your grandma with AML (though, she might not understand what you mean).

Navigating the dating world can be challenging, but we help make it a little easier with general tips on life and love and, of course, this handy guide to dating acronyms. Get more insights into what is dating now in 2023 and beyond.

Learning How to Communicate in a New Relationship

When it comes to dating in 2023, learning how to communicate with your partner is the key to your relationship’s success. It lets you both convey your thoughts, feelings, and needs, which helps build your bond and create a stronger connection. Without proper communication, it’s easy for your lines to get crossed, leading to misunderstandings, resentment, and even blame. However, if you can talk through the tough stuff and be honest about any situation, you’ll have a much easier time navigating a relationship together. 

If you’re wondering how to communicate in a new relationship, we’re here to help. We’ve provided some of our top communication relationship advice for guidance. From setting aside special times to chat to learning how to argue in a healthy way, these tips will help you and your partner communicate better in your relationship.

Create Time to Chat

You might be wondering, should you talk every day in a new relationship? And the answer to that question really depends on your specific relationship. While talking every day is a great way to get to know each other and build your connection as you just start dating, you may need some time and space to reflect on your budding relationship. 

That said, we recommend setting aside time to chat with your new partner, even if it’s not every single day. For example, instead of going to the movies right after work, eat dinner together beforehand so you can recap the day and fill in each other on the latest life events. Or, before going to brunch with some mutual friends, meet up for a coffee and share a conversation before joining the others. But if you want to be even more structured about it, set aside a certain time each week, put away any distractions, and have an intentional one-on-one conversation. 

Actively Listen 

So, how do you communicate in the early stages of dating? A big part of learning to communicate with your partner involves actively listening. This means instead of mentally preparing what you’re going to say next or opening your mouth to interrupt during a conversation, you’re listening to and engaging with what your partner is saying. It’s not just hearing the words coming out of your partner’s mouth but also understanding the meaning behind them. 

To practice active listening, be 100% present in the conversation, maintain eye contact, and listen before responding. Let them finish their thoughts and then ask open-ended questions or paraphrase what they said to ensure you interpreted it correctly. Active listening can help cultivate more intentional and productive conversations, which can help strengthen your relationship.

Look for Nonverbal Cues

Looking for nonverbal cues is another aspect of active listening that can help you communicate better in a relationship. This involves looking for meaning in the things your partner isn’t saying. 

For example, maybe they’re not making eye contact, speaking really fast, and fidgeting with their hands, which may signify they’re feeling anxious or nervous. Or, maybe their arms are crossed, signaling they’re feeling defensive, or their tone of voice is flat, meaning they may be annoyed or angry. The more you pick up on these nonverbal cues, the easier it will be to understand and connect with your partner. 

Understand You May Communicate in Different Ways 

Another one of our favorite pieces of communication relationship advice is understanding that you might prefer to communicate in different ways. In fact, the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can avoid any problems that it may cause. 

Let’s say your partner loves texting. They fire away hundreds of texts a day, from short and sweet “thinking of you” messages to long, drawn-out paragraphs. You, on the other hand, much prefer a phone call or a voicemail. In turn, your partner thinks you’re ignoring all their text messages and assumes you’re not interested in talking, while you believe they’ll pick up the phone and ring you if they have something important to say to you. Neither communication style is wrong, but you must learn to adapt to one another’s preferences.

Don’t Be Afraid to Communicate Your Feelings

Wondering how to fix communication in a relationship? One way is to be open and honest about the way you feel. 

For starters, your partner is not a mind reader. No matter how close you are with them, they won’t necessarily know that you took offense to something they said, feel annoyed about a work assignment, or want to scream about some recent news you received. 

While it’s important to work on being happy with yourself before entering into a new relationship, in order to build a strong foundation on which your relationship can grow, you need to be willing to let your partner in. You don’t need to put up a wall to protect yourself and your feelings—it’s ok to be vulnerable. Express how you feel and convey your emotions so your partner understands what you’re going through so you can go through it together. 

Communicate What You Need, Too

Just as you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings, don’t bottle up what you need. Are you feeling like your partner isn’t giving you the attention you deserve? Or do you need a soundboard because something is bothering you at work? Your partner can’t help you if you don’t communicate what you need from them. 

Try to work on conveying what would help you feel better. For example, if you think your partner is spending a lot of time hanging out with friends or playing video games, you might say something like, “I appreciate that you have other interests, but I’m feeling a little neglected lately. Do you mind if we reserve Friday evening for date night?” Or, if your work situation is keeping you up at night, you could say, “Hey, I’m struggling with this thing at work, and I’m looking for some advice. Do you mind if we discuss it?” 

Of course, this goes both ways. If your partner opens up to you about their wants or needs, be sure to be attentive and respectful of their wishes. Allow them to speak and then ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand.

Learn to Argue in a Healthy Way

Especially if you’re in a new relationship, you may find yourselves wanting to avoid conflict and arguing in any way. After all, isn’t arguing bad? The truth is, conflict is part of any relationship, and arguing isn’t bad if you do it in a positive and constructive way. 

Disagreements are bound to arise in your relationship, so it’s just a matter of how you address them. Remember the active listening tips above, and come to the table with a calm and open mind. Be willing to share your feelings without pointing blame and give your partner the same opportunity, and don’t be afraid to compromise. It’s ok if you don’t come to the same conclusion or an immediate resolution as long as you had a meaningful and respectful conversation. 

Consider Relationship Counseling

Learning to communicate with your partner isn’t something that happens overnight. Everyone is different, and finding ways to connect can be particularly challenging for some. If you’re asking yourself, why do I struggle to communicate with my partner? Or, if you two just can’t seem to click when it comes to communicating in your relationship, you may want to consider meeting with a relationship counselor. These experts are trained to provide couples with professional advice and guidance on improving the way they interact.

Even if you’re two peas in a pod who are falling in love, effectively communicating together isn’t always a walk in the park. Try some of these tips above to help improve your relationship. 

Demystifying Dating a Woman Taller Than You

In today’s modern dating world, we see all different kinds of people partnering up, and that includes women who are open to dating shorter men. What used to be seen as a bit taboo is now something that has become more common in public and on the TV screen than ever before. Taller women are dating shorter men, and no one seems to mind!

However, there are some dating dynamics those vertically-challenged men may want to be aware of before diving into a relationship with a taller female. For example, harping on her height or feeling insecure about her high heels won’t do you any favors in the love department. Dating a taller woman doesn’t have to be complicated, but there are some things you may want to be mindful of to help you start off on the right foot. 

In our guide on demystifying dating a taller woman, we’re here to help you navigate a heterosexual relationship with a female who has a few inches on you. Whether you’re interested in picking up a tall girl or already seeing one, follow these dos and don’ts of dating a girl taller than you.

Don’t Worry About What Others Think

We’ve come a long way from the societal expectations of heterosexual couples in which the man must be taller than the woman. Not only do we see taller women dating shorter men in our social circles, but it’s also all over the celebrity circuit, from Zendaya and Tom Holland to Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. It’s become more common than ever, meaning you’re not going to be the talk of the town if you start seeing someone taller than you. 

If you’re sensing some signs of chemistry between you and a woman taller than you, go for it! Chances are, no one is going to bat an eye, and if they do, you probably shouldn’t be spending your time worrying about their opinion anyway. Don’t let your fear of gossip get in the way of you following your heart.  

Do Realize She’s More Than Her Height 

She’s tall, but that’s not her only defining feature. If you’re interested in dating a taller woman, you must be willing to see past her height and discover all the other wonderful qualities about her. For example, she might be wildly creative and artistic or extremely athletic with a competitive side. 

If you only see her for her height, you’re going to miss out on everything that makes her unique. So instead of commenting on her height, ask about her favorite hobbies, and instead of asking how tall she is, inquire about her interests. The more you get to know her on a personal level, the less important her height will seem. 

Don’t Underestimate Yourself

If you have your eye on a taller gal, don’t automatically assume she won’t be interested in you due to your height. For starters, a lot of tall women date shorter men, which goes to show, height isn’t everything. 

Think about it; you have a lot to bring to the relationship, so why not give her the chance to see that for herself? Maybe you’re an awe-inspiring musician, an amazing chef, a successful entrepreneur, or a fearless outdoorsman. Or perhaps you’re crazy intelligent, incredibly ambitious, or ridiculously funny. You have so many great characteristics, interests, and talents that surely outshine your height, so go out there and let her see it for herself!

Do Work on Your Own Self-Confidence

Believe it or not, a lot of people prefer confidence over looks, meaning the more self-confident you are, the more attractive you’ll appear. 

Don’t let your height interfere with your self-image or allow yourself to feel insecure about the height difference between you and a taller female. Instead, focus on all your other great qualities, from your thick head of hair to your witty sense of humor. If you can go into your relationship with your shoulders back and head held high, you’re more likely to foster a happy and healthy bond with your partner. 

Don’t Harp on Her Height

Dating as a tall woman already has its challenges, so the last thing she wants to hear is you fussing over her height. Yes, she’s tall, now, move on and get over it!

You’re not going to do yourself (or your relationship!) any favors if you’re constantly bringing up her height or harping on the fact that she’s towering over you. Commenting on your height difference is only going to make it a bigger problem, leaving you both feeling insecure and self-conscious about your respective statures. Remember, in the same way you don’t want her focusing on your height, she probably doesn’t want you focusing on her height either.

Do Compliment Her Height

Tall women can have their fair share of insecurities as society likes to make all sorts of assumptions and judgments regarding their height. Therefore, if you’re dating a girl taller than you, be sure to compliment her and reassure her that you find her height attractive. 

Even subtle comments like, “Your long legs look sexy in that skirt,” or “You’re beautiful—you look like you just walked off the runway!” can help boost her confidence and make her feel more secure in herself and the relationship. 

This “do” is different from the prior “don’t” in that you’re not obsessing or complaining about her height but rather flattering her and reminding her that it’s a positive feature about her. 

Don’t Interfere with Her Fashion Choices

Just because she’s tall doesn’t mean she can’t wear heels. She has every right to wear whatever she feels good and confident in, and if that means six-inch heels, then so be it! 

Now, if you feel like her fashion choices are going to be a problem for you, then you may need to reassess whether you have what it takes to be in a relationship where the woman is taller. If you’re dictating what she wears or groaning at the sight of her heels, she may feel like you’re trying to change her—or worse, control her. 

If her taste in shoes is really an issue for you, have an open conversation about it, but do realize this may be an area where you have to readjust your expectations and work on your own self-confidence rather than making her change her wardrobe.

Do Understand That Taller Women Are Attracted to Shorter Men

Alright, let’s answer what you really want to know, do tall girls like short guys? And the answer is yes! Many women are willing to date shorter men, while others may actually seek them out. In fact, some believe shorter men have better personalities and character than taller guys because they never got to coast because of their height. 

Perhaps the biggest takeaway here is that you might just be surprised at how open women are to dating someone who isn’t taller than them. Sure, you’re on the shorter side, but you still have a lot to bring to the table, and at the end of the day, wouldn’t you rather date someone who is open-minded than someone who won’t give you a chance simply because of your stature?

So, can a shorter guy date a taller girl? Yes, of course, and they can go on to enjoy a long and happy life together. But a big part of the success of your relationship will come down to whether both parties are comfortable, confident, and secure enough in themselves and their own height to venture into a relationship together.